Decision 2016
You Can Stop Paying Attention Now
According to you people, we can call an end to this nightmare.
WikiLeaks Proves Hillary Clinton Ruled Out Burning Jamie Dimon Alive Back In Early 2015
You can breathe a sigh of relief, J-Dimez.
President Trump Doesn't Not Have Ties To An Iranian Bank
Could have been worse, Trump could have been caught leasing space to Wells Fargo.
Donald Trump Pretty Sure That Janet Yellen Is Not A Person Of Putin-Level Quality
"For shame, Janet Yellen!... Keep doin' what you been doin,' Vlad."
Hedge Funders Backing Trump Are Hedging On Giving Him Actual Money
Turns out GOP candidates polling behind in Missouri are a risky investment.
Trump Reveals Outline Of Economic Plan But Withholds Details Because He Is An Incorrigible Tease
Say what you will, but that was definitely "A speech."
Carl Icahn Would Have Joined Trump Economic Team But He Had Already Made Plans To Wash His Beard
Uncle Carl turned down The Donald in order to live his truth as "Two-PAC."
According To Donald Trump, Donald Trump's Hedge Fund Managing Campaign Finance Team Has Done A Terrible Job Raising Money From Hedge Funds
Steve Mnuchin and Anthony Scaramucci must be like "Damn bro, what up?"
Presidential Candidate Adds US Stock Market To His Long List Of Things That Suck
It's right there between "Crying Babies" and "Large Gloves."
Moody's: Threat Of Economic Apocalypse Definitely Lower Under Hillary
Their working title was "Hey, it's not as bad as his plan."
Someone Apparently Gave Bernie Sanders The Wrong Democratic Party Platform
We see what you did there, Bernie.
Donald Trump Jr. Really Should Have Read His Dad's Platform Before Speaking Last Night
He hates regulations like Dodd-Frank, so he must be PSYCHED about his dad's promise to bring back Glass-Steagall.
GOP Platform Calls For Reinstatement Of Glass-Steagall Because Logic Is Dead
Eat your heart out Michelle Obama, the GOP platform just cribbed an idea from Bernie Sanders.
Because Wall Street Isn't Donating, Trump Using Pence As A Koch Tease
Sometimes The Donald's gotta do what The Donald's gotta do.
Lloyd And Gary Are Encouraging Staff To Maybe Rethink Their Trump 2016 Donations
It's not a good idea to put "Make America Great Again" in the memo line of a check at 200 West Street these days.
Hank Paulson Gives Hillary The Endorsement She Never Wanted
Time for Hill to whip out that stack of "Thanks But No Thanks" cards.
Some Super-Popular GOP Donors Were Total No-Shows At Donald Trump's Big Money Party
Steve Schwarzman and Ken Langone would have gone, but they - like - didn't want to.
Hillary: Trump Is Basically Angelo Mozilo With An Even Worse Spray Tan
Camp Clinton wants you to know that Trump like liked the mortgage crisis...like more than a friend.
President Trump Would Destroy Dodd-Frank Because Hillary Is Too Close To Wall Street
If you don't think about it too hard, it makes sense.
Goldman Sachs Executive Likens Ted Cruz's Failed Campaign To Ending Slavery
In fairness, Heidi Cruz DID take a few elbows to the head recently.
Carl Icahn And Bernie Sanders Are Feuding Now
It's like Neil Simon on drugs, but real life.
Anthony Scaramucci Can't Stop Joining Campaign Finance Committees, So Now He's On Trump's
Third time is the charm for Mooch in 2016.
With The Primary Over, Wall Street Money Will Get Second Chance To Make A First Impression
We're down to three choices; Trump, Hillary or putting your checkbook in a shredder and setting that shredder on fire.
Cliff Asness Basically Thinks This Election Is 'Totes Ratchet'
Cliff is hashtag OVER it.
Trump's Potential Treasury Picks Are Still Bananas: Bloomberg
"The Apprentice: Treasury Department"
Relentlessly Unemployed Carly Fiorina No Longer Understands The Meaning Of "Successful"
If Carly thinks the HP/Compaq merger was a major success, she must have loved the Bay of Pigs.
Bernie Sanders Commitment To Create Jobs Is Already Showing Cracks
Is this some kind of 3D chess?
Bill Clinton Is Sick And Tired Of Greedy Hedge Fund Managers Like His Son-In-Law
Clintonian cognitive dissonance is BACK!
Hillary On Potential Deal With Bernie: "You. Get. NOTHING!"
Hillary seems willing to offer Bernie voters a big bowl of Shut The F@ck Up.
Everybody Hates Whatever They Think "Wall Street" Is: WSJ
Wall Street has become the Rorschach test for angry voters, but no one knows what they're looking at.
Broke And Desperate, Ted Cruz Comes Crawling Back To Wall Street
Old Meltyface would like to explain his attacks/ask for some money.
Bernie Sanders Will Break Up The Banks Using Only The Power Of Belief
Bernie might not have read Dodd-Frank all the way through.
President Trump's Stock Tip: "Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em!"
We are through the looking glass.
Hillary Clinton Reasonably Certain That Bernie Sanders Is Making No Damn Sense
She's about thisclose to just saying "Cool pants, Bernie."
It Looks Like President Trump Just Learned That Heidi Cruz Used to Work At Goldman
Angry Donald Trump doesn't like his wife's picture being used to attack him so he lashes out at other guy's wife... Sad.
Marc Faber Would Choose The Trump Nightmare Over The Hillary Apocalypse
Nice to see that Marc Faber is still mincing his words.
Even Barney Frank Thinks Bernie's Evil Wall Street Act Needs Work
Barney ain't feeling the Bernie.
Hillary Clinton Should Have Thrown Her Theranos Fundraiser in 2014
At least Kissinger isn't involved...Oops, he totally is.
Ted Cruz Goes Way Out Of His Way To Take Debate Potshot At Wall Street
Old Meltyface will say all the words.
Mike Bloomberg Decides There Are Already Too Many NYC Billionaires Running For President
Bill Ackman cannot catch a break...
Hillary Clinton Inching Ever Closer To Telling Bernie Sanders "Just Shut The F@ck Up About Wall Street Already"
Hill is done pretending that she hates Wall Street, or that's she's still running against Bernie.
Jack Welch Finally Gets It Up For Ted Cruz
And GOP voters are no longer really in the mood.
Wall Street's Anti-Trump PAC Might Need More Friends
It's getting ugly and confusing out there.
Cayman Hedge Fund Manager/Florida Congressman Endorses Bernie Sanders
Alan Grayson is quickly becoming one of our favorites.
President Trump's Finances Are Convoluted For Jesus
And that's why he's dealing with another totally routine twelfth audit in a row.
Famous Accountant Mitt Romney Would Like A Peek At President Trump's Tax Returns
Welcome back to The Suck, Mittens.
Wall Street GOP Donor Class Officially Down To One Option
All your checks do belong to Rubio