More Senior Traders Are Taking Their Butter And Going Home* From Goldman Sachs
*"Home" in this case being BlueCrest Capital Management.
SEC Increasingly Aware That Goldman Sachs Traders Are Deeply Desperate To Survive DJ D-Sol's Purge
The blue windbreakers are now making biannual visits to the trading floors of 200 West Street.
Goldman Sachs Has Come Around To The Logic Of Not Paying People Goldman Sachs Salaries
Average comp is down 50% at 200 West Street, unless you're a robot, in which case, you're taking John Rogers' job.
Goldman Sachs Dealing With A Third Quarter Hipster Hangover
Over at 200 West Street, the trading Trotskyites are bailing out the WeWork-investing Stalinists [this is a perfect allegory].
Robinhood Now Daring Goldman Sachs Not To Acquire It
DJ D-Sol should ask Charles Schwab about the wisdom of ignoring the kamikaze trading platform for Millennials.
Area Billionaire Retiree Debates Himself About Socialism
Lloyd Blankfein seems lonely, you guys.
Marty Chavez Wants To Sell Ken Griffin An NYC Guest House
Goldman Sachs' Prince that was Promised lists his West Village crib for $19.95 million.
Usurper David Solomon Finally Frees Himself Of The True Heir To The Goldman Sachs Throne
Marty Chavez is going back to his New Mexico monastery.
Goldman Sachs Is Doing Apple's Innovation For It These Days
DJ D-Sol is sampling Angelo Mozilo on Goldman's Apple Card plans.
Goldman Sach Is Pretty Sure That Stocks Are Done, Like, Going Up
David Kostin tells clients that this bull is barely breathing.
David Solomon Commiserates With His Marcus Team Over The Existential Anguish Of Working At A Investment Backwater Like... Goldman Sachs
If only these retail bankers worked in Palo Alto garage and not 200 West Street, perhaps then they would be loved.
Goldman Sachs Manages To Beat Estimates By Paying Everyone Like They Fell Short Of Estimates, Which They Actually Did
DJ D-Sol paid Goldmen less in Q1, but how long can he keep doing that?
Goldman Sachs Puts All Company-Issued BlackBerrys In The Storage Room So Lloyd Blankfein Has Something To Play With
DJ D-Sol just went Joan Crawford on outdated tech.
Goldman Sachs Launches Marcus Ad Campaign Ostensibly Aimed At Dumb Assholes Stuck In Low-Yield CDs
Though they be short, these ads are breathtaking in their lack of subtlety.
New Policy Ensures That There’s A 50% Chance A Future Bald CEO Of Goldman Sachs Will Be A Woman
DJ D-Sol looking to spin way more ladies nights at 200 West St.
Layoff Watch '19: Goldman Sachs Doing Some Routine Spring Cleaning In Commodities
Mmm, the smell of pink slips wafting in from Battery Park City on the warming air.
Goldman Sachs Tells Everyone That They Should Stop Being Silly Little Socialists And Love Buybacks
Don't let anyone tell you that Goldman doesn't keeps it real.
Senior Goldman Sachs Investment Banker Defects To KKR In Obvious Attempt To Wash Her Hands Of Firmwide Trader Massacre
Why else would a senior i-banker in Asia leave Goldman these days?
David Solomon's Culling Of Goldman Sachs Traders Reportedly Catches A Major Body
20-year veteran and head of program is thought to be the latest victim of DJ D-Sol and John Waldron's trading floor megadeath.
Goldman Sachs Hoping To Sate The Bloodlust of Malaysians By Making Lloyd Blankfein's Retirement A Little Less Comfortable
Guess who's walking away clean on the whole 1MDB thing though...
Supermarket Chain Sues Goldman Sachs For Not Disclosing That It Would Behave Like Goldman Sachs
United Natural Foods really should have read the not-so-fine print.
Goldman Sachs Admits Its Compliance Department Missed Disgraced Ex-Partner’s Bigamy, Horndogging, Fake Doctorate
Believe it or not, that’s the best-case scenario for the bank.
Goldman Sachs Destroys Estimates By Pretending That It's An Investment Bank Again
After dressing up the world's most potent financial services company as a 90's era M&A i-bank, DJ D-Sol is apparently into cosplay.
David Solomon Goes The Full Bart Simpson In Year-End Message To Goldmanites
On the subject of 1MDB scandal, DJ D-Sol wants everyone to rest easy next week.
Malaysia Is Not Buying What Goldman’s Selling This Time
$6.5 billion in bond deals? Sure. This cockamamie story about how you didn’t know people were stealing almost half of it? No.
Robinhood's Ludicrous New Free Money Savings Account Product Is The Long-Term Answer To Goldman Sachs' Marcus Problem
Hey, if they can have stupid ideas, why can't we?
David Solomon Doesn’t Want His Little Goldmanites Thinking Too Hard About 1MDB
DJ Daddy D-Sol is handling it.
Ex-Goldman Banker: $6 Billion Deals Just Don’t Happen If You Tell Compliance About Them
And those deals are happening, so, you know…
David Solomon Prepares ‘It Was The Last Guy’ 1MDB Defense
So, like, go easy on us.
Here Are Two More People For Unpartnered Goldmanites To Resent
Some people from Citi and JPMorgan Chase just cut the line.
David Solomon Cuts Himself Some Slack By Naming Fewer Partners That He Will Eventually Have To Crush When They Yearn For His Throne
Unlike those silly traders, a greybeard investment banker like DJ D-Sol will quell the rebellion before it even begins.
David Solomon Pulls Dina Powell From "Davos In The Desert" After Realizing That Goldman Sachs Was About To Lose Moral High Ground To Steve Mnuchin
This is the best PR sh!tshow we've watched in years.
Dina Powell Looks Poised To Become First Ever Permanent Resident Of Revolving Door Between Goldman Sachs And The Government
David Solomon is going to have to find a woman to promote if Dina takes over at the UN.
Steve Mnuchin Is Creepy And Weird To Be Around, So Now David Solomon Runs Goldman Sachs
The Forrest Gump of modern finance strikes again.
FoxBiz Hearing That Goldman Sachs Rank And File A Little Irked By Lloyd Blankfein's Marie Antoinette-Themed Retirement Plan
Charlie Gasparino reports on a nascent populist uprising inside 200 West Street.
Goldman Sachs Punishes Elon Musk For Getting Its Hopes Up
And also makes David Einhorn’s day.
Behold, DJ D-Sol Putting Dropping A Beat And Putting A Cap In Summer's Ass
Back to work, Goldmanites, your new leader just killed Summer...on the ones and twos.
Maybe Goldman Sachs Should Have Let 1MDB Banker Move To L.A.
If it had, maybe he’d have a different story to tell prosecutors.
Incoming Goldman Sachs CEO Thinks Everyone At 200 West Street Should At Least Try To Land Their EDM Single On The Billboard Charts
David Solomon wants more Work-Turnt Life Balance at his new Goldman.
Jon Corzine Ends Lloyd Blankfein's Nascent Political Career With One Endorsement From Jon Corzine
Who wouldn't take political career advice from Jon Corzine?
Goldman Sachs To Officially Announce That David Solomon Will Keep CEO Chair Warm For Marty Chavez
DJ D-Sol about to let the beat...mmmmmm, DROP!
Thirsty Goldman Sachs Analyst Tries To Netflix N Chill, Has No Chill
Heath Terry is the Adam Jonas of internet analysts.