If you're looking to go public without much fanfare, it's never a bad idea to start trading on a day on which everyone is reading about the president telling aides "I'm f@cked."
![Who'd want to invest in something like this? By Yinxinybyq [CC BY-SA 4.0 ], from Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3Nzg3NzMzNTY3NDUy/uber.jpg)
The hubris of everyone's least-favorite ridesharing company is outmatched only by its pile of burning cash.
Lest you all forget, one of the original public companies is a full and total clusterf@ck.
Not only is Blue Apron replacing the CEO with an Etsy exec, it's even firing a guy named Dickerson.
Unless the second-biggest ridesharing app just doubled revenue or halved its spending in the last three days, this feels like a bit of a premium.
The new normal is weird as f*ck.
A plan so crazy, it might just work. [It won't work.]
Lyft is about to take everyone for quite a shared ride.
"Our next guest would like to artfully contradict the entire point of this network..."
Our prayers have been answered, for Kuddles hath returned.
So...just burn your money for warmth in order to survive the coming war with China.
Vikram Pandit's former right hand man to be charged with paying some women for the use of their right, and probably also left, hands.
Gene Levoff allegedly took a "Think Different" approach to his day job.
The Fed Chair's milkshake brings none of the kids to the yard.
Jeff Bezos employs "The Gundlach Gambit" on the National Enquirer and the market is trying to figure out how to feel.
A man who is literally a bad move is America's latest gift to the world economy.
The de Kooning of money is about to create his masterpiece.
Turns out that the Saudis have a real problem with bad tweets.
![Uh, where is everybody? where did they go? this is a long caption. really long. does it wrap? By Kevin Hutchinson (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE1MDM0MTgzNjQ0/nyse.jpg)
You should never tweet, Nice-Y.
