Opening Bell

Prison sentences end … but r/WallStreetBets legends never die ...

"And for that reason, I'm out." - Kevin Plank, probably

It's all fun and games until someone gets chopped up ...

Somewhere, Peter Thiel is laughing maniacally ...

"Follow-for-follow?" - every politician on Twitter

"College athletes don't get paid?" - Cam Newton's dad

Beyond beef. It's what's for dinner.

The force is weak with this one ...

Troll game strong ...

Sucks to Zuck ...

*Adidas CEO looks over shoulder*

"Who's your daddy?" - Masayoshi Son to Adam Neumann

"I feel bad for the Goldman banker." - nobody, ever

"Store your money in the cloud" they said, "it'll be safe" they said ...

It's all fun and games until little Timmy's data gets compromised ...

Jamie flexed on 'em ...

Some Uber employees got a long weekend after all ...

Uber diversified ...

"I don't want to tell him, you tell him ..."

There will be blood ...

Annnnd it's [any hope of trade talks being fruitful] gone ...

Daryl Morey is king of the trolls ...

PayPal's pull out game is strong ...

Bird got the D ...

"It could be worse." - Elon Musk

"So, can I still expense this?"

"Wait, they weren't supposed to be paid?" - John Calipari

What kinda dirt did Wells have on Charlie?

Peloton is the Juicero of exercise equipment ...

"Alexa, slide into Lauren Sanchez's DMs ..."

Define "innovation" ...

The name Fannie just screams 'daddy issues' ...

"Our culture is not your health crisis." - Brad and Chad

Move over Netflix and chill, it’s time to Facebook and f*ck ...