Opening Bell

Check please ...

Define "innovation" ...

The name Fannie just screams 'daddy issues' ...

"Our culture is not your health crisis." - Brad and Chad

Move over Netflix and chill, it’s time to Facebook and f*ck ...

Adam Neumann was the guy your parents warned you about growing up ...

There's only one thing in the UK that's more of a disaster than Boris Johnson's hair ...

"What would you say ya do here?"

Smells like mango and karma ...

The Sacklers seem like the type of people who hate puppies ...

*Blows fat vape cloud*

Just when you thought living in Oklahoma couldn't possibly get any worse ...

This is why we can't have nice things ...

So. Many. Questions.

"Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

What could possibly go wrong?

"Da fuq?" - every investor ever

Masayoshi Son has a fever and the only prescription is more leverage ...

"And for my next trick, I'll make Adam Neumann disappear ..." - Harry Markopolos, probably

Make community-adjusted EBITDA great again!

This should end well ...

"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good." - Bill Tsai, probably

It's the f*cking Catalima Wine Mixer ...

Profit?! We don't need no stinkin' profit ...

U up?

Tell me more about this "profit" of which you speak ...

"Does this mean I need to find a new personal shopper?"

Are you going to tell Warren Buffett he can't report earnings on Saturdays?

"Hold my beer." - Trump to Powell

Ya'll got any more of them rate cuts?

"Well yes, but actually no." - the US government to Zuck

Looks like Jeffrey Epstein isn't the only billionaire getting off with a slap on the wrist ...

Paint me like one of your French girls ...

Powell moves only ...