Opening Bell

Just a little one-third drop in GDP; Jeff ‘Yes or No’ Bezos; CEOs still doing fine; who needs a cab back to Manhattan from Greenwich? and more!

Sorry, Republicans, but people aren’t freeloading wastrels; hedge funds suffering with mere $200 million allocations; DJ D-Sol had an early night; and more!

Not Och-Ziff finally puts Och-Ziff behind it; Boaz Weinstein’s having the best summer ever; Billy Beane’s new SPAC will always be competitive but never win the big one; and more!

COVID checks; SPACs splash out; Manhattan still deserted; the Maureen Dowd-Elon Musk interview no one needed or asked for; and more!

Buffett buys BofA; Deutsche Bank gets even worse; Jim Chanos couldn’t be more excited; sleep where Alan Dershowitz kept his underwear on; and more!

Unemployment rises; Tesla surprises; Bryant bankrupt; herding east; and more!

Mitch McConnell, Bernie Bro; Wells remains JPMorgan vet executive jobs program; Tesla one (more) earnings beat from the S&P 500; and more!

EU bailout; macro misery; anti-bitcoin bias; LinkedIn layoffs; and more!

Less optimism; everyone struggling; missions impossible; it’s all your fault; happy Monday and more!

What do EU leaders want less: a deal or another meeting about a deal?; Wirecard hits banks—and BaFin; Wall Street making peace with President Biden; and more!

Hong Kong security law NBD to bankers but higher taxes are another story; the no-more-Trumpers come out of the woodwork; the Amazin’ Sheldon Adelson; and more!

Stocks win; Apple wins; Tesla loses; Robinhood users really lose; and more!

An ‘incredible gift;’ oat milk investors; Ackman advances; and more!

Alien invasions; Main Street mess; chief disappointment officers; Ghosn’s saviors unsaved; and more!

Icahn sticks it to Buffett; Elon sticks it to everyone; Steve Cohen sticks it to other Mets bidders; and more!

Capital-raising easier than ever, but no one wants the Fed’s Main Street money; and more!

Brooks Brothers bankruptcy; Buffett’s billions; Odey’s awful annus; Facebook fascism; and more!

A bit bumpy; Paul Singer’s hungry; successful business to work with unsuccessful one; John Varley forgets sometimes; and more!

Is wearing a mask worth 5% of GDP to you?; the other German banking disaster; Ray Dalio’s thinking about UBI; and more!

Will no one take the Fed’s money? Will no one on Wall Street hire Black people? Will no one stand with Valeant? Will no one buy a place in Manhattan? And more??!!?!

PPP lives?; NAFTA dies; hedge funds, too; no such thing as a free facemask; and more!

Bailouts, past and present; dividends good and bad; selling someone else’s shares; and more!

Cash cliffs; credit confusion; coronavirus car sales; Cannes cancelled (for us); and more!

Jay Clayton’s (bad) idea; hedge funds make all the money Wirecard doesn’t have; no $20 sheet cake for you; and more!

Second waves; one giant, sad mouse; pissing contests; and more!

Cases rise, stocks drop; Dell’s worthless; whistleblower worries; grim bonuses; and more!

A fight at Neiman Marcus; Credit Suisse, SoftBank slip up again; Izzy Englander on the prowl; Mike Novogratz still sees $20K bitcoin; and more!

Second wave; second phase; new stress test section; “TechFin;” private equity sours on Trump; and more!

Juneteenth; Hertz goes cap-in-hand; that $2 billion doesn’t exist; D.J. D-Sol’s not-so-star turn; and more!

The Robinhood bubble; Jay Clayton has questions about worthless stock; hoarding quarters; and more!

Fed progam that hasn’t launched already a smashing success; PPP still less so; CQS even less so still; killer hand sanitzer; and more!

A lost decade, but not for Bill Ackman; Madoff trustee gets his frequent flyer miles ready; “it’s not that the market is totally heartless;” a drunken hike; and more!

A tale of two PPPs; airline ETF booms and busts simultaneously; impossible, incredible; masks on before Metrocard swipes; and more!

White House won't be issuing bad news in an election year; people are still drinking coffee; Jay Powell gives Carl Icahn a parting gift; there’s no such thing as a “proprietary holographic nano-layer catalyst;” and more!