And David Solomon & co. are still paying for the sins of others.
Not in prison anymore, thanks to the Dear Leader’s last acts!
The bank’s newfound wokeness has apparently failed to penetrate the legal department.
$5.1 billion in fines demands a $174 million decrease in the comfort of millionaires.
Luckily for David Solomon, Bill Barr is super-busy destroying democracy these days.
Quickly enough to need to restate those earnings.
Wait for a politically convenient moment, pay less.
Forty-six exceedingly rich New Yorkers aren’t going to let some pauper literally lord it over them for just $18.5 million.
Also, isn’t a $2 billion fine for ripping a country off of $6.5 billion sort of excessive, when you think about it, Attorney General Barr?
DJ D-Sol is spinning some sad tunes up on 12 if you’d like to commiserate.
But really, who at the bank hasn’t been indicted in Malaysia at this point?
What's the German compound word for "Get off my lawn!"?
It’s gonna take a lot of suitcases filled with soiled underwear to stand in for $2 billion.
Guess who's walking away clean on the whole 1MDB thing though...
Believe it or not, that’s the best-case scenario for the bank.
On the subject of 1MDB scandal, DJ D-Sol wants everyone to rest easy next week.