Bank of America
Brian Moynihan Manages To Exceed Expectations, Disappoint At Same Time
Very on-brand for America’s most hapless Irish dad.
Bonus Watch ’20: Your Bonus Is No Torches And Pitchforks At Your Front Door
BriMoy & co. are gonna hold on to what’s rightfully yours for your own good.
This Is The Most Trusted Face On Wall Street
Scared and confused hedge funds flock to Brian Moynihan’s comforting research-filled bosom.
The Part Of Goldman Sachs David Solomon Is Getting Rid Of Posts Record Quarter
You won’t need to worry about profits doubling once Marcus is in charge.
James Gorman Worried He Won’t Set Another Earnings Record Next Quarter
I mean, sure, a 50% jump in profits seems great, but he wouldn’t want to set expectations too high.
Lending Discrimination Against Minorities Still *Technically* Illegal, But Not Something Banks Have To Sweat
Joseph Otting has made sure of that.
Layoffs Watch ’20: Wells Fargo (And, In ’21, Everyone Else)
The world’s fattest bank (in more ways than one) is preparing a crash diet.
Socially Isolated Hedge Fund Manager Invests In Social Isolation, Wins
Unlike his favorite basketball team.
Serial Bummer Jay Clayton Takes The Fun Out Of Coronavirus Bailouts
The first rule of bailout money is: Talk a lot about what you’re doing with your bailout money.
Xerox Does Not Need Color Copiers To Come Up With $24 Billion In Cash
Banks are willing to give it the money, for some reason.
Peer-Pressured Brian Moynihan Using High-Rolling Merrill Clients To Pretend To Experiment With No-Fee Trading
BriMo gets which way the wind is blowing.
It's Brian Moynihan's World, We're All Just Basking In His Sunshine
The former Eeyore of Wall Street is now a compulsive winner making life more interesting for Jamie Dimon.
We Ranked Wall Street Banks...By How Much The People Working There Enjoy Working There
Jamie's people are relatively happy while Wells Fargo's people...work at Wells Fargo.
Wells Fargo Circling The Wagons Around A Solid CEO Hire, Will Probably Still Screw It Up
Cathy Bessant is at the top of the list, but this IS Wells Fargo.
Online Pet Food Company Looking To IPO At $7 Billion In 2019 Because We've All Learned Literally Nothing
On the bright side, Chewy.com isn't profitable and is planning on doing a dual share structure to keep it that way.
Investors Can’t Believe Brian Moynihan Is Having A Good Day
There’s always something to criticize at Bank of America.
Brian Moynihan Gives Everyone A Raise Today Just Because He Wanted To Do The Right Thing And For No Other Reason Whatsoever
Is there a Congressional hearing tomorrow? Well, what a fun coincidence!
![By Bank of America Corporation (Merryl Lynch Wealth Management) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NTczNTIxODEwOTMz/merrill-lynch.jpg)
Brian Moynihan No Longer Too Embarrassed To Approach Clients As Being From Bank Of America
With apologies to Edmund Lynch.