Bank of America
Hapless Irish Dad To Remain Hapless Bank CEO For Years To Come
Brian Moynihan is staying put for the foreseeable future.
Actually, You Can Keep Your Money And Master Class, Mary
The youth aren’t interested in living in gilded veal cages.
You’ve Heard From The Best, Now Hear From The Rest
Wall Street’s also-rans confirm that the second quarter was a good one indeed for banks.
Credit Suisse Basically Headquartered In Court These Days
It’s not like the bank’s got other pressing issues it needs to deal with now, right?
Wells, BofA Prove Stimulus Is Working By Not Looking Like Dogsh*t In Q1
If even they are inoculated, there’s hope for us all.
Brian Moynihan, Mike Corbat Paid $24.5M, $19M For Overseeing Wall Street’s Worst Banks Of 2020
Sure, things were bad enough for Corbat to essentially get fired, but not bad enough to keep him from an eight-figure payday.
Bonus Watch ’20: BriMoy Backtracks, Still Stiffing Rainmakers
And David Solomon & co. are still paying for the sins of others.
Brian Moynihan Manages To Exceed Expectations, Disappoint At Same Time
Very on-brand for America’s most hapless Irish dad.
Bonus Watch ’20: Your Bonus Is No Torches And Pitchforks At Your Front Door
BriMoy & co. are gonna hold on to what’s rightfully yours for your own good.
The Part Of Goldman Sachs David Solomon Is Getting Rid Of Posts Record Quarter
You won’t need to worry about profits doubling once Marcus is in charge.
James Gorman Worried He Won’t Set Another Earnings Record Next Quarter
I mean, sure, a 50% jump in profits seems great, but he wouldn’t want to set expectations too high.
Lending Discrimination Against Minorities Still *Technically* Illegal, But Not Something Banks Have To Sweat
Joseph Otting has made sure of that.
Layoffs Watch ’20: Wells Fargo (And, In ’21, Everyone Else)
The world’s fattest bank (in more ways than one) is preparing a crash diet.
Socially Isolated Hedge Fund Manager Invests In Social Isolation, Wins
Unlike his favorite basketball team.
Serial Bummer Jay Clayton Takes The Fun Out Of Coronavirus Bailouts
The first rule of bailout money is: Talk a lot about what you’re doing with your bailout money.
Xerox Does Not Need Color Copiers To Come Up With $24 Billion In Cash
Banks are willing to give it the money, for some reason.
Saudi Aramco **Is** Worth $2 Trillion (In Saudi Arabia)
Thanks for nothing, Wall Street.
Peer-Pressured Brian Moynihan Using High-Rolling Merrill Clients To Pretend To Experiment With No-Fee Trading
BriMo gets which way the wind is blowing.
It's Brian Moynihan's World, We're All Just Basking In His Sunshine
The former Eeyore of Wall Street is now a compulsive winner making life more interesting for Jamie Dimon.
We Ranked Wall Street Banks...By How Much The People Working There Enjoy Working There
Jamie's people are relatively happy while Wells Fargo's people...work at Wells Fargo.