Bank of America
![How do you say, "low six-month fix" in emojis? Helar Lukats [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIyODIwMTIyNTg4/whatsapp.jpg)
WhatsApp Is Free… Until It Isn’t
Failing to keep track of the untrackable is proving very expensive for banks.
Shareholders Of America’s Worst Bank Amply Rewarded For, Uh, Well, We’re Not Sure, Exactly
Charlie Scharf offers bread and circuses to keep the Wells Fargo masses from calling for his head.
Brian Moynihan Tries To Call Jamie Dimon A P*ssy With Spectacular Self-Own
Pfffft. Who isn’t living in an unrelenting hellscape all the time? God.
Brexit Means Banana Republic
Not only does independence from the EU not mean an extra £350 million per week for healthcare, even if it did, £350 million is worth less and less every week.
‘Actually, On Reflection, We’d Rather Not Block Trade With You’
Bank of America, Citibank move to reduce future block-trading fines.
![Brian Katt at the English language Wikipedia [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTI2MzA4ODY1NTI1/bofa.jpg)
BofA Illegally Took Customers’ Money, Charged Them For The Pleasure
And now the CFPB is levying its own charges.
![By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIzODkyNjg0Mjc3/gavel.jpg)
Prosecutors Spoof Spoofer Into Guilty Plea For Spoofing
For once, things go according to plan for the DoJ.
Banks Not To Blame For Bogus Bank Transfers On Bank-Owned Platform, Banks Say
That is, until they get a call from the Gray Lady.
Compensation Watch ’22: Bank of America
It’s going to cost BriMoy & co. more than a few shares to keep the big guns happy.
Goldman Acknowledges Extremely Virulent Disease Spreading Across The Globe, Is Pretty Sure It’ll All Be Over In Two Weeks
Which is when you will be back at your desks, goddamnit, epidemiology notwithstanding.
Jamie Dimon Is A Pretty Permissive Babysitter, It Turns Out
He really let the kids run wild on their devices without even a glance.
Lawsuit: Maybe Suspected Murderer-Thief Wouldn’t Have Stolen Or Killed If Bank Of America Hadn’t Made It So Easy For Him
BofA is accused of getting a little too Wells Fargo-y with the notorious Alex Murdaugh.
Hapless Irish Dad To Remain Hapless Bank CEO For Years To Come
Brian Moynihan is staying put for the foreseeable future.
Actually, You Can Keep Your Money And Master Class, Mary
The youth aren’t interested in living in gilded veal cages.
You’ve Heard From The Best, Now Hear From The Rest
Wall Street’s also-rans confirm that the second quarter was a good one indeed for banks.
Compensation Watch ’21: Goldman Sachs First Years
Goldman has done very well. Goldman’s kiddies? Maybe less so.
Credit Suisse Basically Headquartered In Court These Days
It’s not like the bank’s got other pressing issues it needs to deal with now, right?
Wells, BofA Prove Stimulus Is Working By Not Looking Like Dogsh*t In Q1
If even they are inoculated, there’s hope for us all.
Brian Moynihan, Mike Corbat Paid $24.5M, $19M For Overseeing Wall Street’s Worst Banks Of 2020
Sure, things were bad enough for Corbat to essentially get fired, but not bad enough to keep him from an eight-figure payday.
Bonus Watch ’20: BriMoy Backtracks, Still Stiffing Rainmakers
And David Solomon & co. are still paying for the sins of others.
Brian Moynihan Manages To Exceed Expectations, Disappoint At Same Time
Very on-brand for America’s most hapless Irish dad.
Bonus Watch ’20: Your Bonus Is No Torches And Pitchforks At Your Front Door
BriMoy & co. are gonna hold on to what’s rightfully yours for your own good.