Barclays

Soon we’ll be eating insects for the sake of the environment.

That kind of predatory nonsense belongs only in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Who needs special when you can have scale?

What can Dave Solomon do to get you into a new car with a built-in credit card today?

And the second quarter definitely did not kill it!

Didn’t stop David Forbes from saying it, though.

Oh, yes, and perhaps had something to do with the sale of Britain’s most successful soccer team? It rings a bit of a bell, now that you ask about it in lawsuit form.

He loves Barclays investment bank, and he really loves the idea of investment bankers working in back rooms of strip malls in Swindon.

But Edward Bramson would love to see a long-dated pink slip with the Barclays CEO’s name on it.

The only bankers to face a British jury over financial crisis shenanigans walk free.

You might think they’re not related issues, but to Edward Bramson it’s like the big reveal in the DaVinci Code, a book I have not read.

They’d like to know if he improperly kept his underwear on in his disclosures to them.

Jes Staley loves you guys, he just doesn’t love paying you guys.

Nobody handles money like Uber, so Uber needs more money to handle.

This is problematic, given that he runs a British bank.

Turns out “unofficial internship programs” for Asian magnates’ failchildren are frowned upon.

And unfortunately for Edward Bramson and the 3,000 of you without jobs, it’s not in the “deemphasize the investment bank” kind of way.

Jes Staley, who once bought a hedge fund with Epstein’s help, is taking his piece of Deutsche Bank’s prime brokerage.