basketball

Gather 'round for story time with Uncle Bill.

Bill Ackman likes Duke and Kentucky for the final, Paul Tudor Jones favors Virginia and Arizona. Meanwhile, will Vikram Pandit show all those Citi execs who never believed in him with Gonzaga (2) v Kentucky (1)?

It'll take a little luck o' the Irish and chalk everywhere else.

Neither of you appear to have a shot at winning this thing but your names earned points in our book. As for people who should start picturing what life will be like when they're sporting a Dealbreaker banker bag around town...

And you don't want that on your conscience.

As Dealbreaker historians will recall, 2011 marked our first Dealbreaker NCAA Tournament Challenge. It was inspired by a financial services hack who made the public announcement that he planned to (anonymously) report any colleagues he caught filling out brackets and keeping tabs on their picks during business hours. At the time, we encouraged you all to enter as many pools as were available, making it impossible for him to keep up with the amount of people and their offenses he needed to rat out, and created one to do our part. Is this guy still on the loose? He very well might be but regardless: never forget. To that end, sign up for the Third Annual Dealbreaker NCAA Tournament Challenge today. If you need reason beyond being able to say you won the DBNCAATC, first place will receive dinner for him/herself plus some colleagues and/friends at Peter Luger* and the must-have item of the season, a blue and green Dealbreaker banker bag.

This is Pool Manager NakedShort, signing off until next year: "Tied for first are 'HeyConnah' and 'Shawn S.' Both have Kansas winning, while HeyConnah predicts a final aggregate score of 125 and Shawn S puts it at 128. If Kentucky prevails tonight, 'Benjamin W.' will be the new owner of, among other things, some awesome swag; he has Kentucky winning it all and is currently in sole possession of second place. On a personal note, I've been a huge KU fan my entire life and I am a little (a lot) pissy about there being no possible way for me-- currently tied for 7th-- to win. What I'm saying is..." "KANSAS OWES ME AT LEAST A TITLE to compensate for the fact that I will not be taking home the DBNCAATC trophy. That said, it's probably for the best: the last time I won a bracket pool and KU won the title in the same night I got so drunk I blacked out and according to my wife, came into the bedroom and yelled 'Fuck You Roy (Williams),' before vomiting all over the area rug and passing out. Needless to say she was not a happy camper cleaning the mess while being 5 months pregnant. Good luck to our leaders and may the odds be forever in your favor."

Some stats and a hidden camera video from Pool Manager NakedShort: "We've got a new leader this week: regrets to "Golden West" and "Mike Courtney," who were knocked out of the first place position and congrats to "Does This Marker Smell Funny," with 98 points. Some other top performer stats include one guy in second with 96 points, one guy in third with 95 points, and one lady ("bankr chick") in fourth with 93 points. "ABCDEF" ended the weekend with 92 points and a fifth place finish but will be ultimately fucked by North Carolina, who he chose to win it all. "ILuvMatt" is in a 17-way tie for 12th, while the real Matt is in 12th-to-last place. If you picked UNC or Syracuse for the title, I've got four words for you."

Some stats and a message about life from Pool Manager NakedShort: "We currently have two overall leader, with 50 points. Congrats to "Golden West" and "Mike Courtney," who had nice opening weekends." Some other top performer stats: 4 people are tied with 49 points 8 are at 48 (1 unlucky entrant picked Missouri to win) 7 are at 47 (Missouri and Duke each fucked one of you) 12 are at 46 (none of you picked any current losers!) "iluvmatt" is leading the 44s The remaining 800 or so are frankly are horrible and should stop watching basketball entirely. For those unlucky souls who had their winner lose this weekend, turn up the speakers and join us in a good cry.

First prize is dinner with a few colleagues/friends at Peter Luger, your choice of post-dinner activity, an I Heart Dealbreaker button, a Greenlight Capital messenger bag, a Pershing Square golf umbrella, a pair of Third Point-branded running sneakers, and a Blackstone gym bag (if you are a hedge fund, private equity firm, or bank who would like to be represented via swag, do get in touch. As you can see we're building something of an ensemble here so socks, hoodies, hats, undergarments, etc would be optimal but we'll work with what you've got). Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. Sign up now. [DBNCAATC]

As Dealbreaker historians will recall, last March marked our first Dealbreaker NCAA Tournament Challenge. It was inspired by a financial services hack who made the public announcement that he planned to (anonymously) report any colleagues he caught filling out brackets and keeping tabs on their picks during business hours. At the time, we encouraged you all to enter as many pools as were available, making it impossible for him to keep up with the amount of people and their offenses he needed to rat out, and created one to do our part. Is this guy still on the loose? He very well might be but regardless: never forget. To that end, sign up for the Second Annual Dealbreaker NCAA Tournament Challenge today. If you need reason beyond being able to say you won the DBNCAATC, first place will receive dinner for him/herself plus some colleagues and/friends at Peter Luger's, an outing funded by us,* a Greenlight Capital messenger bag, a Pershing Square golf umbrella, a pair of Third Point-branded running sneakers, and an I Heart Dealbreaker button.** The pool will once again be managed by Dealbreaker Commenter and Friend NakedShort, who, along with myself, will answer any questions you might have, provide color if warranted (rip everyone’s brackets to shreds, call out the bottom 5 performers), etc. Sign up here now.*** So it is abundantly clear, if you do not want participants to know your real name, MAKE SURE TO FILL OUT SOMETHING ELSE IN THE NAME FIELDS. For example, if your ID is Godswork, rather than writing Lloyd B, enter first name: Gods, last name: work. To that end, if you don’t want people to see your email address, from the bracket page, click ‘options’ and then ‘hide email.’ If you feel it necessary, create an entirely new email account specifically for this challenge. Finally, don’t use HisHoliness as your ID because Alan Greenspan’s already called dibs. The pool password is: animalliar Dealbreaker NCAA Tournament Challenge [CBS Sports] *Last year we offered Wall Street North favorite Beamers Cafe, but the winner had "already seen all Beamers had to offer," and choose an alternative venue. This year, feel free to think outside the box. **If any other hedge funds, private equity firms, or banks would like to be represented via swag, feel free to get in touch! ***NakedShort says you have until Thursday morning to fill out a bracket but you should just get on this ASAP.