Bear Stearns

You're off the team!

Jimmy Cayne is devastated at the thought of having one of his bridge trophies taken away amid scandal.

He still had residual night terrors.

Let this be a lesson to anyone hoping to avoid a couple centuries in prison-- nobody fucks with Jimmy Cayne's roach clip and gets away with it!

Earlier today, it was announced that Matt Zames had been named JPMorgan's new Chief Investment Officer, to replace Ina Drew, the woman who supervised the trader responsible for the firm's whale of a loss and was dismissed over the weekend. Previously, Zames served as the firm's head of fixed income and while he may be happy to be seen by senior management as a guy capable of putting out at a fire, based on his experience, is probably at least a little bit underwhelmed by the task. From Kate Kelly's Street Fighters: Matt Zames had been down this road before. He had started his career at Long-Term Capital Management in the winter of 1994, shortly after college. There he witnessed firsthand what could happen when a bunch of shortsighted executives didn't manage their risk properly...By the time he reached the sixth floor it was after midnight. His team was huddled with a group of Bear managers in one of the conference rooms. Zames had one question for the Bear team: How much cash and collateral did it have on hand?...Zames shook his head. "This isn't going to be necessary," he told them. "This whole thing is fucked." Guy had a front-row seat for LTCM and Bear's implosion and now he's being asked to do what, exactly? Clean up a minor mess at a *solvent* bank? It's almost a little insulting, actually. Call him when you've got SOMETHING REAL. JPMorgan Says Ina Drew to Retire, Replaced by Zames as CIO [Bloomberg]