Not that he’d want to anyway, of course.
In fact, it’s going to take some magic and a miracle. And probably a decade or two.
And would some of you hard-up corporate executives give the guy a call, for heaven’s sake?
And an enormous amount of time to talk to reporters.
Buffettstock, like everything else, is cancelled.
What a happy coincidence.
Tracy Britt Cool will no longer be workshopping Uncle Warren’s blue material.
Welcome to the Ackmanaissance, Uncle Warren.
Not literally, of course, but it’s a pleasing mathematical coincidence to all but Berkshire shareholders.
What’s an intrusive and cumbersome questionnaire between angry Occidental shareholders?
Warren Buffett and Jeff Bezos have been weighed in their scales and found wanting.
And don’t talk to him about socially-responsible investing, either.
No windows and having to listen to undergraduates for the rest of his life seems to fit the crime.
There’s more to it than getting in early on Berkshire Hathaway, apparently.
Who in the town of Omaha has lost iFaith?
35 million JPM shares? We get it, Mr. Oracle, and we're glad to have you aboard.
$600 million is a small price to pay to not have to learn what fintech is.