bitcoins

…in more ways than one.

What makes a cryptocurrency a currency, one lawsuit-battling crypto wonders aloud and angrily?

The great semantic debate of, uh, this week is over!

He’ll never have to make good on it, of course, but it’s a fun rhetorical and imaginary game to play.

For all of you. Literally.

Because, bravo, you guys seemed to be able to do it.

A devastating revelation, we know.

The Pentagon is ready for the cryptorebellion come 2025.

What Larry Summers meant to say was that the tall half-billionaire is a “lame, cheesy asshole.”

Sell everything and HODL.

It’s like “crack is whack,” but about investing.

And since “trading” and “fake trading” are one and the same for bitcoins…

And it didn’t take much to do, either, sayeth the numbers.

You know things are bad when we start punning.

And it was already a pretty crowded list.

And he’s going to spend it to waste Warren Buffett’s time.

People are still getting excited, of course, but you’d expect that.

For a cryptocurrency pioneer, Fido’s timing could be a bit better.