bonus watch

Jes Staley loves you guys, he just doesn’t love paying you guys.

Actually, there’s nothing to see, or at least nothing you’d want to see.

You still have a gig trading equities, and you want more? Are traders greedy or something?

The Swiss lender is pretty sure all that time spent complaining about gender equity could be spent parenting that baby who ruined your career.

One Deutsche Banker describes this bonus season as feeling like "a prelude to just shutting the whole thing down."

Wells Fargo bonus season is going as well as you'd expect.

Because a little birdy tells us that the folks at Athene Asset Management seem to be feeling unloved.

We're no math geniuses, but can Deutsche Bank cut bonuses back from nothing?

We call this a "Canadian Brag."

The pounds are very much not taking care of themselves.

If you can't replace him, you better pay him.

Granted that his face muscles can still remember how, Brian Moynihan should crack a smile.

How's a $0 bonus sound? Does zero money work for you this year?

Is this the last year that i-bankers will ask their fundie friends for a holiday season bridge loan?

Instead of Christmas carols in the lobby, Barclays will be pumping "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" on repeat this holiday season.

In fairness, this IS Credit Suisse.

You're gonna wanna cash those bonus checks ASAP.

WE GOT ONE!