We're no math geniuses, but can Deutsche Bank cut bonuses back from nothing?
The president-elect is underpaid.
If you can't replace him, you better pay him.
Alisdair Warren has not mended fences.
John Cryan explains why Deutsche Bank missed huge again, and ponders the existence of joy.
Is this the last year that i-bankers will ask their fundie friends for a holiday season bridge loan?
The world didn’t even come close to ending so you can forget about those extra few feet on the new boat.
Instead of Christmas carols in the lobby, Barclays will be pumping "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" on repeat this holiday season.
In fairness, this IS Credit Suisse.
You're gonna wanna cash those bonus checks ASAP.
Pro: No one willingly lives in Frankfurt so you can demand a raise. Con: No one willingly lives in Frankfurt.
If bank CEOs can't take a bonus despite persistent losses, what the fuck are we even doing here?
It's starting to dawn on Deutsche Bank that senior executives are pretty keen on - like - getting bonuses or whatever.
Allowing Marissa to "claw back" her own bonus is the kind of PR clusterfuck that makes Wells Fargo giggle.
Sure, the top eight executives will together forfeit $32 million, but don't go assuming they did anything wrong.
Deutsche Bank's mismanagement of this year's bonus season is like a new form of performance art.