Call the Close
Call The Close: Yuan-a Guess How Bad It's Gonna Get?
You know things are bad when we start punning.
Call The Close: Bloody Freaking Hell Edition (UPDATE)
Hold onto your fascinators!
Call The JPMorgan (Whale Loss) Close (Updated)
Did Bruno Iksil make the bank -$2 billion? -$9 billion? -$20 billion? Was this all just a hoax and he actually didn't lose any money at all? JPMorgan will let us know tomorrow at 7AM. Standard Price Is Right rules, closest without going over. Guesses in by 4PM today. Winner will receive his or her choice of a visit from the sandwich fairy, a highly coveted whale bath toy, or an I heart Dealbreaker button.
Analysts Attempt To Call The JPMorgan (Second Quarter) Close
Despite Jamie Dimon's promise that JPMorgan will be "solidly profitable" for the quarter, some are skeptical given the growing estimates of Whale-boy's losses. According Mike Mayo, the bank "will only make $727 million...including $4 billion of losses in the unit that made the bungled bet [though] if the losses exceed $5 billion, JPMorgan could make an overall loss." Barclays' Jason Goldberg thinks things are gonna be okay here, and sees the bank making $3.3 billion, assuming you know who will have only lost it $3 billion when all is said and done. And yourselves? Start considering your predictions now, as come July 13, there will be a visit from the Sandwich Fairy and a coveted bath toy for whoever comes closest without going over. Will The Whale Swallow JPMorgan's Second-Quarter Earnings [Dealbook]