A new job for every old former Deutsche Banker, courtesy of yours truly!
How does Christian Sewing have 20K people left to lose?
Deutsche Bank now openly contemplating what an investment bank looks like without investment bankers.
We hear that HQ is calling for a 5% cut across all groups.
Never tweet, even if it's your literal job.
Bright side: Those not good enough even for the French bank could also try for a certain German one.
Mmm, the smell of pink slips wafting in from Battery Park City on the warming air.
The Swiss lender is pretty sure all that time spent complaining about gender equity could be spent parenting that baby who ruined your career.
One Deutsche Banker describes this bonus season as feeling like "a prelude to just shutting the whole thing down."
Because a little birdy tells us that the folks at Athene Asset Management seem to be feeling unloved.
We're no math geniuses, but can Deutsche Bank cut bonuses back from nothing?
We call this a "Canadian Brag."
This is getting very dark, very quickly.
The bank tells Bloomberg that it isn't mulling over layoffs, which makes us wonder "why not?"
He's getting better and being better every day, you guys.
Sounds like a few dozen people are coming around to the idea that UBS sucks.
If you can't replace him, you better pay him.
This "anything you can do, we can do better" shit has gone TOO far.