Banks
Brian Moynihan Manages To Exceed Expectations, Disappoint At Same Time
Very on-brand for America’s most hapless Irish dad.
Here’s What’s Keeping Jamie Dimon Up at Night
Here’s a hint - it rhymes with “snare.”
![By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MzI1MjE5Mjc2Mjc3/jamie.jpg)
Jamie Dimon Has So Much Extra Cash To Not Spend On Bonuses, Political Donations
The not-46th-president-of-the-United-States made history this week all the same.
National Defense Authorization Act Has Intercontinental Ballistic Legal Missile Pointed Directly At Deutsche Bank
Comply with our subpoenas or, you know, just stop doing any business in the United States.
HSBC Violates Your Natural/Moral/Legal/Constitutional/Biblical Right To An HSBC Bank Account While Killing HSBC Employees
It definitely says “Thou shalt not cancel my checking account in absence of a mask” in one or all of those.
Deutsche Bank Bids ‘Auf Wiedersehen’ To The Least Illustrious German-American In History
The Drumpfs need some new banks.
![By World Economic Forum from Cologny, Switzerland [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MzA2MTYwODE3NjUz/thiam.jpg)
SPACs Get Unemployed Execs Off The Dole
Blank check companies brighten the day for Tidjane Thiam and Kelly Loeffler.
Bank PACs To Think About Financing Efforts To Shred Constitution For A Little While
And private equity firms have even bigger concerns.
If He’s Being Honest, David Solomon Could Have Done Without A U.S. Capitol Riot Just Before His ‘Storm The Hill’ Event
Unlike the president, Goldman Sachs really did mean it metaphorically.
Bonus Watch ’20: Your Bonus Is No Torches And Pitchforks At Your Front Door
BriMoy & co. are gonna hold on to what’s rightfully yours for your own good.
Next SEC Chair Could Save Kelly Loeffler, David Perdue From Themselves
That is, if they’re still in a position to enjoy political salvation after today.
Trump Banker Makes Like Bill Barr And Retires
Deutsche Bank won’t have Rosemary Vrablic to kick around anymore. But Cy Vance still does.
There Is At Least One Law Danske Bank Hasn’t Broken
How many it has, and how much it will cost, remains unclear.
Even The Swiss Frown On (Allegedly) Laundering Money For The Bulgarian Mafia
Which is too bad for an astonished Credit Suisse.
Beneficiary Of Citi Screw Up Was Totally Talking About Another Mistake When She Found Out About Payment
Really, it was about someone fucking up on our side. Honest.
Barclays Acted A Bit Too American In Its Dealings With British Customers
That kind of predatory nonsense belongs only in the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Credit Suisse Traders Exactly Half As Valuable To Bank As Wealth Managers
The Swiss have, as is their wont, precisely quantified the investment bank’s status.
![Quit hiding behind the bench. By Phil Roeder (Flickr: Supreme Court of the United States) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTk0NzU5NTc5MTI1/supremecourt.jpg)
Supreme Court To Decide If Banks Really Need To Be The Things They Say They Are
Supreme Court To Decide If Banks Really Need To Be The Things They Say They Are Dek: Honesty
Cy Vance May Be The Only Person Keeping New York Deutsche Bankers Busy
Please rise and raise your right hands and prepare to explain everything everyone named “Trump” ever said to you.
Don’t Just Own The Libs. Own The Bankers Who Rejected Your Fraudulent PPP Application.
Being so brazen as to shock an Objectivist isn’t enough.
Worst Year In At Least A Century No Reason Not To Go Public
The SPAC-and-IPO party on Wall Street will have to stand in for the traditional holiday festivities this year.
![[Public domain] via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIyODE5MjA1MDg0/goldman-sachs-used-car-salesman.jpg)
Goldman To Offer Bank Accounts To Anyone Selling Anything Online
Who needs special when you can have scale?
![By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIxNzQ1NzI1NDA0/jamiedimon3.jpg)
Scrooge McDimon’s War On Christmas
If Dirk Albersmeier catches someone so much as putting a holiday card up in the cubicle, there will be hell to pay: There are SPAC prospectuses to read.
![By World Economic Forum [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3ODAzMDM0MTkxMzQ5/vikrampandit.jpg)