![By JHG (Julien29) (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NDU0MDY5NDA5MjY5/fondue.jpg)
Credit Suisse’s Intern-Licking, Money-Losing Days Are Over
Still, curb the enthusiasm that might evoke.
Banks
Jamie Dimon Hates Crypto So Much That He Made His Own To Prove How Dumb It Is
JPMCoin is the first financial instrument built to troll a whole class of financial instruments.
![By U. S. Treasury (U. S. Treasury hard copy for G8 Summit) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIxNDc3MzU0OTk3/quarles.jpg)
Fed Officials Would Like To Have Less To Do
And think other central bankers should work publishing hours, as well.
Danske Bank In Real Trouble Now That Inspector Clouseau Is On The Case
The Danes have to translate everything into French now.
Wells Fargo Tries Playing Dead, Market Very Easily Convinced
The stagecoach stopped rolling online and everyone beat it like a dead horse (we lost this metaphor).
Jim Cramer Clearly Hates Investment Bankers
The Mad One has a bank merger idea that indicates he yearns to bathe in the blood of I-Bankers.
Activist Hedge Fund Would Like To Pull Up A (Boardroom) Chair And Have A Bit Of A Chin-Wag About Barclays’ Investment Bank
Edward Bramson thinks Jes Staley’s victory lap was perhaps a bit premature.
D.J. D-Sol Working On Cutting Dis Track About His Own Commodities Traders
The Goldman chief is preparing to take out his frustrations upon them.
Deutsche Bank Turns In Disappointing Results For One Its Few Remaining Quarters
Christian Sewing now contemplating just running the whole show out of some WeWorks.
Former Barclays Exec In Hot Water For Being Confused About Words Like "Bribe" And "Butthole"
Richard Boath reportedly calls bribes "bungs," and also doesn't know how bribes work.
Wells Fargo Reveals New Logo And Everything Is Fixed Now
It's hard to remember all the fraud and rapacious fees what with this clean, new look.
Going Forward, Federal Regulators Should Announce When They Are NOT Probing Deutsche Bank
If Danske Bank broke all those laws, then the Fed is pretty sure that Deutsche Bank helped.
Morgan Stanley Forex Guys Have Bad Opinions On Pumping Breast Milk At The Office, And That's Bad For All Of Wall Street
Even binding arbitration might be getting short Morgan Stanley this week.
Elizabeth Warren Makes Official Inquiry Into Whether Steve Mnuchin Is Dangerously Incompetent Or Just Incredibly Stupid
If Stevie Mnooks isn't going to Davos, can he answer some questions about what the hell is going on behind those blank, gormless eyes?
Goldman Sachs Admits Its Compliance Department Missed Disgraced Ex-Partner’s Bigamy, Horndogging, Fake Doctorate
Believe it or not, that’s the best-case scenario for the bank.
Brian Moynihan A Big Fan Of Rate Hikes Everyone Else Hates
They may be crushing stocks and starting a recession, but they’re helping BofA out big time.
Wells Fargo Admits That It Will Remain In A Bad Bank Time Out For 2019
America’s naughtiest lender will stay under Fed punishment for the whole year.
Jamie Dimon Acts Very Presidential While Announcing Worst JPMorgan Quarter In Years
He's definitely not not running.
Citi Reports That It’s Still Way Too Big To Worry About A Massive Trading Loss
Mike Corbat: “I got creamed by that December volatility…come at me, bro.”
![Deborah Cordwell [CC BY 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MzE4NTA4NzgzNTgw/swisshorn.jpg)
Swiss National Bank Loses Money Because It Is Not Entirely Invested In Swiss Currency
Apple stock’s got nothing on the franc.
Bonus Watch '19: Deutsche Bank Unsubtly Telling Deutsche Bankers That Their Enmity Is Mutual
We're no math geniuses, but can Deutsche Bank cut bonuses back from nothing?
Wells Fargo Will Never Secretly Sell Pet Insurance To Unwitting Customers Without Cats In This State Again!
For two years! And only then if it pays California Tim Sloan’s raise.