But I Was Promised A V-Shaped Recovery!
The news, while not exactly all bad, is also not particularly good.
Private Equity
‘Ineligible For PPP’ Has As Much Meaning To Hedge Funds, Private Equity Firms As ‘Alpha’
Alts shops sure got a whole lot of money they allegedly aren’t entitled to.
Happy Bastille Day, Er, Fourth Of July
Good thing Dan Loeb and Steve Schwarzman have plenty of extra space for all the uninvited guests.
Jay Clayton Not At All Happy With Asset Class He’s Eager To Open To More Marks, Er, Investors
Private equity guys, you’re on notice from a guy with one foot out the door. Or not.
Bring The Process To Flushing!
The greatest tank artists in sports history are coming for the Mets.
Private Equity Gets Longed-For Bailout In Form of 401(k) Money
Who’d like to bet their retirement on the geniuses who brought you the Neiman Marcus and J. Crew bankruptcies?
Mike Novogratz Wants A Blockchain For Police Brutality
The cryptocurrency enthusiast is angry, and you wouldn’t want to see Mike Novogratz angry.
SEC Busily Issuing Slaps On The Wrist
Private equity firm Ares Management is the latest beneficiary.
Judge Sees Lynn Tilton’s Finger-, Studded Leather Jumpsuit-Prints All Over Defunct Ambulance Company
Now, he’d like to see her name in the signature line of some four-year-old paychecks.
Surprisingly, Dan Loeb Doesn’t Want To Be In The International Tourism Luxury Goods Business Anymore
Please don’t make him. (You probably can’t, anyway.)
Private Equity Firms Don’t Do Things For Free, You Guys
The Securities and Exchange Commission is apparently shocked to learn.
President Trump To Consult Jamie Dimon, Ken Griffin, Elon Musk, Literally Everyone Else On Post-Coronavirus Reopening
The Great American Economic Revival Industry Groups may prove the greatest challenge to the president’s attention span yet.
If You Survive This, You Might Be An Accredited Investor On The Other Side
There may not be any hedge funds left to invest in, but that’s not Jay Clayton’s problem.
Bonus Watch ’20: Your Year-End Windfall Is Looking Sickly
Coronavirus has a 10-month incubation period in bonus checks.
Silver Lake Pays $1 Billion To Save Jack Dorsey, For Some Reason
Paul Singer’s bloodlust is temporarily sated by a $2 billion buyback.
SEC Accuses Private Equity Guy/Church Elder With Violating Third, Seventh, Eighth And Tenth Commandments
We’re not saying that Dionne Van Zyl is going to hell, but…
No One Wants To Work With David Solomon
Trouble holding onto talent is another part of the new Goldman Sachs.
![By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIzODkyNjg0Mjc3/gavel.jpg)
Fund Manager Got Pre-Approval For All That Alleged Fraud And Self-Dealing, Fund Manager Says
Justice Barry Ostrager isn’t so sure.
How Does Leon Black Eat? A Dealbreaker Investigation
Answer: How all Dartmouth men eat.
Jay Clayton Paints His Masterpiece
An accredited investor definition that keeps their numbers about constant and decreases the likelihood of people coming crying to the SEC? It’s perfect.
Hedge Funds Are Dying, Vol. 873,921: ‘Twas The P.E. Firms With Their SRI Products In The Institutional Allocations Room
No one tell Leon Cooperman that Steve Schwarzman is eating his lunch.
Good News, Single Ladies, Steve Schwarzman Owns Bumble Now
Blackstone owns everyone's favorite feminist dating app...and that's quite the sentence.
