Jamie Dimon Is A Pretty Permissive Babysitter, It Turns Out
He really let the kids run wild on their devices without even a glance.
Merrick Garland Is Looking To Nail Some Corporate A**es To The Wall
The Justice Department is going holistic on wrongdoers.
Merrick Garland Gets Busy
The Justice Department has a new squad of crypto-cops, a new taste for white-collar criminal enforcement, a new demand for cyber-ransom notifications. And if you happen to know where all of Tether’s money is, it would appreciate a call on that, as well.
Hotlanta A Hotbed Of Hedge Fund, Private Equity Fraud
Allegedly. What I can tell you from on-the-ground reporting is that it is also very, very hot in a literal sense.
Crypto Exchange Fined $6.5 Million For Trading Cryptos With Itself On Itself
A more perfect addition to the blockchain we can’t imagine.
John McAfee (Allegedly) Didn’t Tell Two Interested Parties About His CryptoPromotion Side Hustle
Those parties being the IRS, and the people he was shilling ‘coins to.
Gary Gensler Hires Gary Gensler For Job Gary Gensler’s Been Waiting Seven Years For
Looking for comment letters on undoing everything Jay Clayton did over the last four.
Wall Street May Not Have Biden’s Ear, But Two Guys Who Hate It Do
Gary Gensler and Ted Kaufman are not the kind of people big finance want to see in positions of influence.
Sulking Jay Clayton Shelves ETF Investor Protection Rule
The amazing thing is that such a provision was ever even considered, we suppose.
CFTC Nominee Brings Enormous Amount Of Recent Practical Experience To The Job
Sure, he’s been a government employee for three-and-a-half years, but that hasn’t stopped Robert Bowes from also being a day-trader.
Deutsche Bank Almost As Good At Preventing Spoofing As At Preventing Money Laundering
That, of course, means another round of fines.
CFTC To Calculate Fines On More Specific Range Of Envelope Backs
There won’t be consistency, but there will be a more consistent range of made-up numbers you have to put on a check.
SEC Turns Previously-Shunned Whistleblower Program Into Handy Economic Stimulus
Jay Clayton & co. have injected $64 million and counting into the economy.
CME Either Got Ahead Of Negative Oil Or Caused It, Depending On Who You Ask
And one of them is asking the CFTC to sort the whole damned mishegas out.
That Unsolicited WhatsApp Message Promising A Can’t-Miss Trading System From An Unsolicited Broker Is Probably Too Good To Be True
In fact, it’s almost certainly a scam, according to the CFTC. Who could imagine such a thing?
If Treasurys Spoofing Exists, The Authorities Are Not OK With It
Of course, they’ll have a hell of a time proving it, but they just want to make themselves clear.
If You Say You’re Gonna Monitor Your Risk Daily, You Should Probably Monitor Your Risk Daily
Especially if you’re gonna lose a few hundred million dollars. Which, by the way, if you had that risk manager…
CFTC Develops Novel DoJ Drafting Technique Of Cut-Rate Regulation
It’s cheap, it’s (somewhat) effective and it makes everyone happy (except for the people going to jail).
Area Lawyer Will Apply What She Learned Representing Ken Griffin To Senior Market Oversight Role At CFTC
Former Citadel lawyer leaving her job at Coinbase for senior markets oversight gig at CFTC...no, really.
Broke-Ass CFTC Isn’t Protecting Derivatives Data, Probably Can’t And Won’t
Is your hedge fund’s critical proprietary data currently sitting on a machine running Windows 7?
The Best Head Of Hair In The History Of Securities Regulation Is Dead
Rock in peace, Bart Chilton.
CFTC Uses Basic Deductive Reasoning To Charge Staten Island-Based Crypto Trading Firm Named CabbageTech With Fraud
This is what regulators call "A layup."