Omicron Can’t Stop Omaha’s Biggest Party This Year
Unless, you know, it can. But for now, book those flights and hotels to one of the Midwest’s, uh, cities.
Firing Watch ’22: Jamie Dimon Is Itching To Make An Example Of You Anti-Vaxxers
Stand in the way of his forcing people back to the office, get canned.
Outgoing Fed Vice Chair Really Making His Patron Proud
What would Donald Trump have done with a tip-off from Jay Powell? Probably “rebalance” his portfolio just like Richard Clarida did.
Ray Dalio Manages Best Return In Years, New Scheme To Pretend He’s Not In Charge Again All In Same Month
For his part, David Shaw just kicked back and enjoyed the fruits of a successful transition in style.
Goldman Acknowledges Extremely Virulent Disease Spreading Across The Globe, Is Pretty Sure It’ll All Be Over In Two Weeks
Which is when you will be back at your desks, goddamnit, epidemiology notwithstanding.
New Unfortunate COVID Vaccine Side Effect: Having To Go To The Office
Congrats, holdouts! You get to work from home for the foreseeable future.
Noted Epidemiologist James Gorman Acknowledges Slight Scientific Error
Seems we weren’t going to have this COVID stuff licked by Labor Day.
Bill Ackman, Who Got Annoyed When People Listened To His First COVID Pronouncement, Makes Another
On the bright side, he didn’t say “hell is coming” this time.
This Is Not Hong Kong, Elon, This Is Wall Street. There Are Rules.
Jamie Dimon thinks Tesla is over the line.
So Maybe Getting A Zoom-Based M.B.A. Was A Good Idea
Seems being a warm body with a degree is worth something after all, even if you never set foot on campus.
Why Does Sen. Richard Burr’s Brother-In-Law Worry Testifying Before The SEC Will Be Stressful?
Unless, you know, he and the less-the-esteemed gentleman from North Carolina did, you know, insider-trade.
Firing Watch '22: Joe Biden Making Every Citigroup Employee Get Vaccinated
If you do it in the next month, you get $200. If you don’t do it within two months, you get canned.
COVID Skeptics Leon Cooperman, Donald Trump Reduced To Penury By Pandemic
With a mere $2.5 billion each, they are both among the 332.8 million poorest Americans.
Ken Griffin Starts Clock On Citadel’s Move To Miami
After all, once there’s no epidemic for Ron DeSantis to screw up and he’s president, there’s no reason not to.
Maybe Goldman Should Pay The Guys With The Keys To The Room With All Of The Insider Information More
And also not take away their free ice cream.
If You’re Not Spreading A Deadly Pathogen Around The Globe, You’re Just Not Cut Out For Investment Banking
Tales from the pestilent road(show).
The Mooch Has Big, Fake Things To Announce As His Less-Big-Than-Usual Party
The highlight of this year’s SALT conference make by Skybridge’s latest attempt to lose money in crypto.
Stocks Surge On Hot Labor Market Despite Several Biblical Plagues Visited Upon Us
It's all good news on Wall Street, as long as you've got Wellies.
Humoring Vaccine Conspiracy Theorists Is Costing The U.S. Health System Over A Billion A Month
Unvaccinated people more likely to get the disease are also more likely to spread it.
White-Collar Workers Clandestinely Working Two Remote Jobs At Once Reveal A Lot
If workers can do what is required of them in less than 40 hours per week, then they shouldn’t have to pretend that it’s taking them 40 hours per week just to keep their health insurance.