Newly-Woke Goldman Sachs Takes Next Logical Minimal Step Towards Diversity
If you board has as many penises as members, you can take your IPO elsewhere.
David Solomon
It’s Like We Don’t Even Know Who Goldman Sachs Is Anymore
More transparency? To attract investors? What is this, Bank of America?
David Solomon Like Every Normal Guy Who Spends His Weekends DJing In The Bahamas
He may even take AirTrain to JFK.
More Senior Traders Are Taking Their Butter And Going Home* From Goldman Sachs
*"Home" in this case being BlueCrest Capital Management.
SEC Increasingly Aware That Goldman Sachs Traders Are Deeply Desperate To Survive DJ D-Sol's Purge
The blue windbreakers are now making biannual visits to the trading floors of 200 West Street.
Goldman Sachs Has Come Around To The Logic Of Not Paying People Goldman Sachs Salaries
Average comp is down 50% at 200 West Street, unless you're a robot, in which case, you're taking John Rogers' job.
Goldman Sachs Dealing With A Third Quarter Hipster Hangover
Over at 200 West Street, the trading Trotskyites are bailing out the WeWork-investing Stalinists [this is a perfect allegory].
Usurper David Solomon Finally Frees Himself Of The True Heir To The Goldman Sachs Throne
Marty Chavez is going back to his New Mexico monastery.
David Solomon DJ'ed In The Hamptons And Made All The Young Finance Types Horny, Reports Bloomberg
A lot of babies will be born at Lenox Hill in about 10 months bearing the middle name "D-Sol."
David Solomon Commiserates With His Marcus Team Over The Existential Anguish Of Working At A Investment Backwater Like... Goldman Sachs
If only these retail bankers worked in Palo Alto garage and not 200 West Street, perhaps then they would be loved.
Goldman Sachs Manages To Beat Estimates By Paying Everyone Like They Fell Short Of Estimates, Which They Actually Did
DJ D-Sol paid Goldmen less in Q1, but how long can he keep doing that?
Goldman Sachs Puts All Company-Issued BlackBerrys In The Storage Room So Lloyd Blankfein Has Something To Play With
DJ D-Sol just went Joan Crawford on outdated tech.
Goldman Analysts Think New Goldman Credit Card Not Worthy Of The Goldman Name
Apple Card, backed by the bank, is at best “OK but not great.”
New Policy Ensures That There’s A 50% Chance A Future Bald CEO Of Goldman Sachs Will Be A Woman
DJ D-Sol looking to spin way more ladies nights at 200 West St.
Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon Appears At Alma Mater Hamilton College To Prove That Elite Colleges Do Not Predict Future Success
This is the reminder of American possibility that we all needed right now.
Area DJ Refusing To Wear Tie At Lame Day Job
David Solomon proving that he truly is Goldman Sachs' cool new dad.
Senior Goldman Sachs Investment Banker Defects To KKR In Obvious Attempt To Wash Her Hands Of Firmwide Trader Massacre
Why else would a senior i-banker in Asia leave Goldman these days?
Goldman Upgrades Potential 1MDB Fine To ‘World Of Pain’
It’s gonna take a lot of suitcases filled with soiled underwear to stand in for $2 billion.
David Solomon's Culling Of Goldman Sachs Traders Reportedly Catches A Major Body
20-year veteran and head of program is thought to be the latest victim of DJ D-Sol and John Waldron's trading floor megadeath.
D.J. D-Sol Working On Cutting Dis Track About His Own Commodities Traders
The Goldman chief is preparing to take out his frustrations upon them.
Goldman Sachs Hoping To Sate The Bloodlust of Malaysians By Making Lloyd Blankfein's Retirement A Little Less Comfortable
Guess who's walking away clean on the whole 1MDB thing though...
Goldman Sachs Destroys Estimates By Pretending That It's An Investment Bank Again
After dressing up the world's most potent financial services company as a 90's era M&A i-bank, DJ D-Sol is apparently into cosplay.
David Solomon Goes The Full Bart Simpson In Year-End Message To Goldmanites
On the subject of 1MDB scandal, DJ D-Sol wants everyone to rest easy next week.