Part-time NFL owner David Tepper’s gonna be a part-time money manager for 15 lucky folks.
Or, you know, just enjoy being a billionaire under that dome he’s about to extract from North Carolina taxpayers.
David Tepper needs the help to put a roof over his football team’s heads.
Was Larry Fink washing his hair that night?
Appaloosa Management is going out to stud.
And also, depressing, way more than the other 29 NFL owners.
Not really, but maybe a little.
He’ll never be able to go home again if he buys the Carolina Panthers.
And it's only taken a half-percent of his fortune.
Jim Simons is still The One.
In fact, Loeb's not sure any stock is worth its current price.
It can't even count to TEN BILLION DOLLARS properly.
Someone out there is catfishing under the assumption that a lot of people want to do sex on David Tepper.
Oh, you didn't make $12.94 billion? That's unfortunate.
SunEdison is the one stock that even Bill Ackman can feel bad for right now.