Decision 2016
Jamie Dimon Pretty Confident That Disturbingly Fractured America Will Still Use Chase ATMs
In memo to staff, JD offers broad strokes about how to bank a dystopia.
For Minority And Women Elites, This Is An Utter Repudiation
America has spoken. And it has told all of us uppity minorities and women that we have no voice.
You Can Stop Paying Attention Now
According to you people, we can call an end to this nightmare.
Larry Kudlow Unmasks Himself As The Maladroit Machiavelli Of 2016
Was it all just a game?
Not Even The Coming End Of Days Will Stop Elon Musk From Acquiring Stuff
Don't look now but Elon is buying stuff...seriously, don't look.
Opening Bell: 11.8.16 - American Ragnarok Edition
Enjoy the season finale of America.
Producer Of "Mad Max: Fury Road" Officially The Most Logical Choice To Run Trump's Treasury Department
Steven Mnuchin is getting the orange nod to put his signature on all the currency in Trumperica.
You’ll Have Ray Dalio To Thank For President Trump
Jim Comey worked for Bridgewater, so maybe his decision-making isn't bizarre, maybe it's next level perfect.
WikiLeaks Proves Hillary Clinton Ruled Out Burning Jamie Dimon Alive Back In Early 2015
You can breathe a sigh of relief, J-Dimez.
Jamie Dimon Now Has 25 Billion More Reasons To Be With Her
If JPMorgan is going to put up the cash for this deal, they don't want it torpedoed by YouKnowWho.
Harvard Business School Alums More Comfortable With Trump When They Think He's Acting Crazy As "A Strategy"
Acting crazy as a well thought out plan they GET.
Larry Summers Begged Hillary To Stop Pretending That She Hates Wall Street
Believe it or not, Big Larry had a hard time keeping his thoughts to himself.
Anthony Scaramucci Compares Fiduciary Rule To Legalization Of Slavery In Apparent Bid For Terrible Analogy Hall of Fame
There have been better arguments against the fiduciary rule.
Donald Trump's "Business Acumen" Might Be Rubbing Off On John Paulson
We're not even sure if this counts as schadenfreude anymore.
Eggheads Trying To Rig Trump Economic Plan With Math
Aren't Wharton types just the worst? (wink wink nudge nudge)
David Tepper Is The Ken Bone Of Hedge Funders
Florida man remains undecided.
Looks Like Uncle Carl Is Losing Faith The Trump Train
One of the weirdest subplots of this dumb election looks to be coming to its end.
Citi Admits That It Didn't See This Whole "I Moved On Her Like A B!tch" Thing Coming
The Big C is done having a political opinion and a private one.
Locker Room Veteran Carl Icahn Has Heard It All, You Guys
This makes you wonder if Carl Icahn ever considered the option of STFU.
Welp, President Trump Has Already Ruined A Tequila IPO
You can thank YouKnowWho for preventing you from buying shares in Jose Cuervo.
Hillary Clinton Doesn't Care About Bank People, Says Jamie Dimon
The Khaleesi of Wall Street is back!