Deutsche Bank

Even after 18,000 job cuts, the Germans think they look a bit flabby.

Certainly not prison illegal, really, if you think about it.

Incredible, we know.

It’s almost as if five years of stern warnings and meaningful shakes of the head haven’t gotten through yet.

It’s not like the bank’s got other pressing issues it needs to deal with now, right?

No one’s giving them a blank check anymore.

And Elon Musk tries, and fails, to act like a normal corporate executive.

In karmically-related news, Deutsche Bank posted its first profit since the Obama Administration.

We know, hard to believe at a firm that’s paid roughly €11ty gazillion in fines the last few years.

The Drumpfs need some new banks.

As usual, it’s going to lose money on it.

Deutsche Bank won’t have Rosemary Vrablic to kick around anymore. But Cy Vance still does.

Please rise and raise your right hands and prepare to explain everything everyone named “Trump” ever said to you.

And then make Donald Trump a non-client as quickly as possible.

We can’t believe we’re saying it any more than they can believe they’re hearing it.

It’s measured in eight figures.

Hint: It didn’t have to look far.

The rest merely need to come in a clean out their desks.