Deutsche Bank
It Sure Is Handy That The German Police Already Know Where Deutsche Bank Keeps Its Suspicious Activity Reports
Because they’re back for another look.
Deutsche Bank’s Values Now Apparently Include Shunning Aggressive Warmongers
We know, they didn’t include that three days ago.
![By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MzI1MjE5Mjc2Mjc3/jamie.jpg)
If Goldman Sachs Won’t Do Business In Russia, Jamie Dimon Guesses He Can’t, Either
Deutsche Bank, though? Still very much in Moscow.
New York Attorney General ‘Concludes’ Trump Committed Fraud, Isn’t Gonna Do Anything About It Just Yet
I mean, we know it’s mostly just lying to Deutsche Bank, but it whether his Trump Tower apartment is 30,000 square feet or one-third that size seems pretty cut and dried.
Layoffs Watch: Credit Suisse Prime Brokers
Turns out you don’t need them if you’re not offering prime brokerage services anymore.
![By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIzODkyNjg0Mjc3/gavel.jpg)
Circumlocution, What-About-ism Not A Winning Strategy For Hedge Fund Manager In Court
Turns out British judges are real sticklers for evidence backing allegations.
Deutsche Bank May Have Managed To Break Its Deal With The Justice Department Literally Before The Ink Was Dry
If any bank could do it, the Germans are it.
![By U.S. Government [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MjA4NzE4MzUzOTA5/cftc.jpg)
Actually, That Information Wasn’t So Much Worthless As Worth $200 Million
The CFTC misspoke initially.
Deutsche Bank Lie About Progress In A Key Area? Impossible!
The Germans are alleged to not be taking ESG terribly seriously.
Deutsche Bank Thinks There Might Be Something To Criticisms Of Its Compliance Program
After a ten-year Teutonic tempest, it’s coming around.
Prosecutors Successfully Spoof Spoofer To Prison
And even more successfully cite the specter of reefer madness.
Bonus Watch ’21: One 35-Year-Old Deutsche Banker
Name your price, Mark Spehn, and then give Ken Griffin a call.
Fed Still Not Convinced Deutsche Bank Is Serious About Not Laundering Money
What with the backsliding in spite of the massive investments in AML, and all.
Layoffs Watch ’21: Deutsche Bank
Even after 18,000 job cuts, the Germans think they look a bit flabby.
![By Federal Bureau of Prisons (http://www.bop.gov/locations/index.jsp) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE1MDM0NTExMzI0/prison.jpg)
Probation Officials: Sure, Spoofing Is Illegal, But, Like, Not That Illegal
Certainly not prison illegal, really, if you think about it.
Disappointed Regulator Outsources More Of Deutsche Bank’s Anti-Money Laundering To KPMG
It’s almost as if five years of stern warnings and meaningful shakes of the head haven’t gotten through yet.
Credit Suisse Basically Headquartered In Court These Days
It’s not like the bank’s got other pressing issues it needs to deal with now, right?
SPACs Facing Tripartite Challenge Of Excess, Mountains Of Paperwork And People With Other Things To Do With Their Stimulus Checks
No one’s giving them a blank check anymore.
GameStop To Cosplay As Actual Company, Release Irrelevant Earnings
And Elon Musk tries, and fails, to act like a normal corporate executive.