Sears’ COVID-19 survival plan allegedly involves starving some Bangladeshis.
Fewer stores, more money.
Because there’s not enough money coming from anywhere else.
And if they didn’t, it’s definitely someone else’s fault.
Because he isn’t, and she certainly does.
This is how the fable would end if the turtle survived and lawyered up on the scorpion.
This comes as news to former employees of Sears Canada.
Fewer stores, yes, but smaller ones, too.
A federal bankruptcy judge rules that it’s not his job to save hedge fund managers from themselves.
He realizes this means he still owns Sears, right?
Sears would be good and dead if Eddie Lamps wasn't such a stage 5 clinger.
Eddie Lampert buys his beloved Sears a bit more time.
He’s got some new extraordinary measures to keep Sears alive just a little bit longer.
He still thinks there’s something there. Just maybe not $300 million worth.
Umm, hi fellow kids...you're buying Sears.
He didn’t want to file for bankruptcy and he’s not gonna be CEO anymore, but he’s still probably gonna get everything he wants.