Eddie Lampert Continuing To Spread International Goodwill
Sears’ COVID-19 survival plan allegedly involves starving some Bangladeshis.
Sears Spending Another $250 Million It Doesn’t Have To Shrink By One Third
Fewer stores, more money.
Sears Bankruptcy Case Reaches ‘Good Luck Suing Eddie Lampert’ Phase
Because there’s not enough money coming from anywhere else.
Paying Ex-Sears Employees Not Within Eddie Lampert’s Purview, But He’s Pretty Sure They Did
And if they didn’t, it’s definitely someone else’s fault.
Elizabeth Warren Wonders If Eddie Lampert Remembers Promising Her He’d Pay Laid-Off Sears Workers
Because he isn’t, and she certainly does.
Vestigial Remnant Of Sears Sues Eddie Lampert And Steve Mnuchin For Merely Being Themselves
This is how the fable would end if the turtle survived and lawyered up on the scorpion.
Apparently Eddie Lampert Can Prevent The Closure Of A Company He Owns Most Of
This comes as news to former employees of Sears Canada.
Eddie Lampert Finds New Ways For Sears To Shrink, Lose Money
Fewer stores, yes, but smaller ones, too.
Congratulations And Condolences To Eddie Lampert On Getting To Keep Sears
A federal bankruptcy judge rules that it’s not his job to save hedge fund managers from themselves.
Eddie Lampert Wins Sears Auction, Loses More Generally
He realizes this means he still owns Sears, right?
Eddie Lampert Is Too Selfish A Lover To Let Sears Die In Peace
Sears would be good and dead if Eddie Lamps wasn't such a stage 5 clinger.
The Greatest Love Story Of Our Time Isn’t Over Yet
Eddie Lampert buys his beloved Sears a bit more time.
Eddie Lampert Not Ready To Bid Farewell To Longtime Love
He’s got some new extraordinary measures to keep Sears alive just a little bit longer.
Eddie Lampert Sounds A Little Less Certain About Sears’ Bright Future
He still thinks there’s something there. Just maybe not $300 million worth.
Baby's First Bankruptcy: RobinHood Users Are Suddenly Crazy For Sears Stock
Umm, hi fellow kids...you're buying Sears.
Sears Is Dead. Eddie Lampert Is Still Very Much OK.
He didn’t want to file for bankruptcy and he’s not gonna be CEO anymore, but he’s still probably gonna get everything he wants.