In These Chaotic Times, We Can Still Rely On Tesla To Post A Solid Quarterly Loss
You are our constant, Elon Musk.
Elon Musk
Elon Musk Would Like It Entered Into The Legal Record That He Doesn't Know What "Pedo" Means
This reminds us of the time he learned about "sex parties."
David Einhorn Evincing Signs Of Late-Stage Ackmania
D-Hornz -who is shorting Tesla- is demanding Elon Musk resign from Tesla, which we're pretty sure is cheating.
Elon Musk More Concerned With Saving Dogs Than People
And we’re frankly in accord with the sentiment.
Tesla Results Miss On Every Key Component But One
Elon Musk's notional car company is losing money and executives, but his key Wall Street apostle remains unfazed.
Elon Musk Wants To Rent Some Of Your Brain To Save Tesla
Just one microchip in your brain will make you electric car an ever-appreciating asset.
Car Company Stock Soars On News That Car Company Made Cars
Tesla really is a hell of a thing.
Elon Musk Pretty Certain That He Can Either Make Cars Or Make Money
This is a wonderful moment of liturgical testing in the Muskian religion.
It Only Looked Like Elon Musk Had A Bad Year
As with everything else Tesla-related, when you get into the proper magical realms, it looked more like a $2.3 billion year.
Investment Bank That Handled Uber IPO Thinks Tesla Is Probably Screwed
Morgan Stanley's Adam Jonas is the Judas Iscariot of Muskism.
Whitney Tilson Taking $10K Bets That Elon Musk Is Full Of Sh!t
Tilson v Musk is a fight we'd pay to see...not a lot, but we'd pay.
Space Rocket Billionaires Are Unsubtly Referencing Their Actual Penises On Twitter...Again
Even we have to admit that Elon just did a good tweet.
David Einhorn Is So Broke That He’s Pitching Airplane Leases At Sohn
The Greenlight Lantern only spent about a minute calling Elon Musk a bullshitter.
With His Martyrdom Approaching, Elon Musk Has Found His Saint Peter
Former apostle Adam Jonas has downgraded Tesla four times, and the rooster has not yet crowed.
Since Selling Cars Is Not Working Out, Tesla Plans To Just Ask People For Money
Can someone hand Elon more cash to feed his money bonfire?
Ray Dalio’s Parties Sound Fun
To figure out how to pass the torch at Bridgewater, the Wizard of Westport subjected his billionaire friends to a personality test.
David Einhorn Still Murmuring Incantations Of Death Over Elon Musk Voodoo Doll, Is Feeling Like It's Working
Greenlight Capital telling investors that Tesla is at least on the verge of being on the verge of dying, and D-Hornz is showing signs of late-stage Ackmania.
Elon Musk Is Clearly Still Struggling With His Addiction To Doing Bad Tweets
The Tesla board can only help someone if he wants to help himself.
Saudi Arabia Seems Concerned About How Elon Musk's Unchecked Behavior Is Being Perceived
Turns out that the Saudis have a real problem with bad tweets.