emails
Some Deutsche Bank Severance Packages Even Included Keeping Your Old Email For A Few Weeks
The Deutsche Bank layoffs are going as well as we thought.
Investment Banking Associate Leaving Deutsche Bank Writes Master Class Email On How To Leave Deutsche Bank
With one email, Bill Keenan becomes a "Fuck Y'all, goodbye!" legend.
Goldman Sachs Will No Longer Tolerate Filthy Talk On Company Emails
Lloyd and Gary are gonna wash some mouths out with soap!
Summer Intern Explains Tardiness Was On Account Of Being Forced To Take The Time To Tell His Father Off
Our first submission for summer intern emails has arrived and it's...a really weird one.
Bill Ackman Politely Asks Charlie Munger "What's Your Problem, Bro?"
If you're going to talk sh!t about Valeant, just assume that Bill is listening.
Would Be KBW Intern Hopes Dave Chappelle Clip Takes Sting Out Of News He's Picking JPM
Funny YouTube clips generally ease the sting of rejection, yes?
Jeff Bezos to Employees: You Don't Work In A Dystopian Hellscape, Do You? DO YOU?!?!
The Amazon employee handbook is apparently just a box set of "The Hunger Games" trilogy.
Barclays Junior Banker Who Tried Hand At Comedy In Email To Interns Not A Barclays Junior Banker Anymore
This is why we can't have nice things.
JP Morgan Intern Learns Corporate Email Is Not The Place To Invite Entire Class To "Wild" Rager [VIDEO]
Join us on a trip down memory lane.
"I WILL F*CKING ASSAULT YOU": Sorority Girl Offers Wall Street A Clinic In Motivating People
If Tommy "I will run you over in the street" Belesis ever beats those fraud charges, the first thing he does is contact the writer of this letter to sign up for a 2-week intensive course that involves shadowing the master around campus (there is much to learn). The rest of you: take notes.
Person Sends Email To Jamie Dimon
We* don't really find it particularly amusing amusing or post-worthy that a Jefferies employee accidentally or misguidedly put Jamie Dimon on an email about a working group list but judging by the number of people who've sent it to us, this is the height of banking humor, so here you go:
John W. Henry & Company To Evict Investors At The End Of The Year
Clients were informed of the turn of events today in a rather terse email that may or may not have concluded, "So that's all, don't let the door hit you on the way out." John W. Henry & Co., a trading firm controlled by the principal owner of baseball's Boston Red Sox, told clients it will stop managing their money amid dwindling assets and slumping returns. "This is to notify you that JWH has determined to cease managing client assets effective December 31, 2012," Amy B. Hanson, a marketing manager of the firm, wrote in an email to clients on Friday. "We will not be providing performance information going forward." John W. Henry said it will continue to do some trading for its own account. The firm, which managed more than $2.5 billion in 2006, today oversees less than $100 million, Mr. Henry said in an email. John W. Henry to Stop Managing Client Money [WSJ]
BarCap Analyst Identifies Senior Bankers' Failure To Show Up To Good-Bye Party As Being Representative Of "Fundamental Flaw In Group's Culture," Suggests They Shape Up ASAP
From: [redacted] To: BarCap TMT Group Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 12:21 PM All, At last night's event, we were disappointed by the poor representation of senior bankers. We truly appreciate Pat, David and Ranjot for showing up and expressing support and gratitude. However, the fact that only three of 21 senior bankers decided to show up speaks to a fundamental flaw in the culture of our group.
Lehman Brothers Thought Fight To Stay Alive Was A Battle Of Good (Them) Versus Evil (Everyone Else)
As some of you may recall, a month after Lehman Brothers went under, the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform released an interesting email Dick Fuld had sent to LEH vice-chairman Thomas Russo on Saturday, April 12, 2008, circa midnight. Dick had just come back from a dinner with Hank Paulson and was so excited to relay the details he couldn't wait 'til the next day to get in touch with Russo, who he apparently viewed as his "teacher." Fuld said his key "takeaways" were that the government loved Lehman, that Paulson wanted to "kill the bad hedge funds" (like those diabolical shorts Fuld knew were to blame for his problems), and that while the then Treasury Secretary appeared to have a "worried view" of Merrill Lynch, Dick got the sense that Paulson thought Lehman was in terrific shape. Per the bankruptcy documents put online last week, here's how the rest of the conversation between Fuld and his Sensei went.
Dick Fuld: "The Bros Always Wins"
As previously mentioned, if one were inclined to relive the fall of Lehman Brothers, one could do so via the bankruptcy documents that were recently made available online. There you'll find, among other things, countless examples of what has been said so many times since September 15, 2008, which is that it's amazing how delusional the people at the very top were, vis-à-vis the firm's solvency/what people thought of it/everything. Also worth marveling at? The fact that Lehman lasted as long as it did with what appear to be barely literate troglodytes running the place. [The following dialogue is re: CITIC considering an investment in a US bank and the suggestion that it is more interested in Bear Stearns.]