E*Trade Set To Announce New Commission-Based "100 Trades = 1 New Puppy" Consumer Product
"Eat shit, Schwab, we got puppies" said E*Trade in a statement.
Bonus Watch '19: Hey, Still-Employed Equities Trader, Keeping Your Job Is Your Bonus
You still have a gig trading equities, and you want more? Are traders greedy or something?
Some Deutsche Bank Severance Packages Even Included Keeping Your Old Email For A Few Weeks
The Deutsche Bank layoffs are going as well as we thought.
Robinhood Is Worth $7.6 Billion Now, And All It Had To Do Was Sell Its Soul
Can you still be the anti-Wall Street app when you've come to epitomize The New Wall Street?
Goldman Sach Is Pretty Sure That Stocks Are Done, Like, Going Up
David Kostin tells clients that this bull is barely breathing.
Deutsche Bank Informing 18,000 People That It's Basically A Community Bank Now, And Also They Are Fired
The Age of Denial is over and the Deutsche Bank we know is truly dead.
Crypto Traders Also Enjoy Investing In Tesla, Claims Redundant Study
Some solid research here from the Nodoi Institute at The University of Obvious.
Shockingly Still In His Job, Deutsche Bank's Global Head Of Equities Is Leaving His Job Soon
Peter Selman has finally realized that it is time to aussteigen.
Dow Drops 600 Points, Uber Announces IPO Will Price At Top, And Our Work Here Is Done
No one wants to hold equities today but everyone wants to hold Uber on Thursday, claims Uber.
Twitter Gets By With A Little Help From That Company It Really Doesn't Want To Call Its Friend
Monsanto and Jack Dorsey are the strangest of bedfellows.
Maybe Put Down That Limit Order And Go Choke On Some Totino's
Because same difference, really.
Layoff Watch '17: Deutsche Bank Fixed Income Traders Will Be Treated To A Bloodbath Once HR Gets Done Decimating Equities Traders
Is there a German compound word for terrible irony?
Larry Summers And Goldman: Uhh You Guys Know Who We Just Elected, Right?
A sobering reality-check following last week's market binge.