E*Trade Set To Announce New Commission-Based "100 Trades = 1 New Puppy" Consumer Product
"Eat shit, Schwab, we got puppies" said E*Trade in a statement.
ETFs
![By AntanaCoins (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTk1MDI4NTM5MzU2/bitcoin.jpg)
At Least No One Else Will Be Raking In A Bitcoin ETF Fortune
The Winklevii’s misery has some company.
Jack Bogle’s Bucket List: Finish Book, Commission Self-Portraits As Napoleon And George Washington, Dance On ETFs’ Grave
Their growth shall not outlive him if he has anything to say about it.
T. Boone Pickens Is Mortal, But BOON Shall Live On Forever
The wildcatter-cum-cowboy-cum-corporate-raider-cum-energy-hedge-fund-manager will corporally transform into an ETF.
Area Senior Gripes That Dumb Kids Experimenting With Derivatives Will End In Tears
Uncle Carl is feeling the "rumbling" of an imminent market earthquake.
Deutsche Bank Discovers Rare Good, Marketable Idea
A cheap and easy way to profit from the junk-bond collapse!
![By Gorup de Besanez (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NTQ5MzYzNTM3ODg0/quincy_jones1.jpg)
Mutual Fund: ETFs Could Lead To Nutty Valuations, Sudden Selloffs And Other Totally Normal Stuff
Beware the new “financial weapons of mass destruction.”
![By ETF Group / ETF Ride Systems (http://www.etf.nl/media/PDF/ETF_Mystic_Mover.pdf) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MzQxODYyNDcxMTU3/etf.jpg)
Ticker Symbol ETF Was Available. There Was Only One Thing To Do.
Have you ever wanted to own all 37 ETF provider stocks but didn't feel like putting in the work?
Larry Fink On The Trump Economy: Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em
BlackRock just did the damn thing, your turn Mr. President.
PIMCO Doing Some Painfully Unsubtle Rebranding
Apparently "The Bill Gross Sucks And Is Dead To US Bond ETF" was a little too obvious.
Opening Bell: 12.12.16
Wall Street enjoys the Trump Effect; Bezos might crash Trump tech meetup; Uber begs riders not to have sex; and more.
Can’t Afford Steve Cohen? Perhaps You’d Be Interested In Steve Cohen’s ETF Operation
2016 is not yet done bending accepted logic to its will.
How To Calculate If Your Fund Manager Is Cheating You
Do his lips move when he talks? (LOL OMG)
Formerly Innovative Investment Product Struggling A Bit With Innovation
It's sooooo frustrating.