Admitting to collecting fees from a notorious sex criminal is somehow only the third-worst thing that has happened to Deutsche Bank in the last 24 hours.
Donald Trump is jealous of the ECB now.
Brexit claims its second British leader.
If Deutsche Bank puts all its bad assets, liabilities and stalled business lines into one entity, what would be left of Deutsche Bank?
CEO Sergio Ermotti warns everyone that European banks might report numbers troublingly close to his bank's normal ones.
In light of all the other international investigations, maybe Danske was a wee bit more than an “assisted witness.”
Charging into her own certain political death isn't smart, but it's definitely British.
And this is more than just electing billionaires with a penchant for banging porn stars.
The country's sovereign wealth fund has an almost third world level of risk.
The new king of Twitter is literally just fucking with Theresa May on social media.
It has fewer Irish people than Boston, but BriMo is gonna love it.
Who wants to add to the country's already-unsustainable pile of debt?
Morgan Stanley doesn't get France and the strongest case yet for just letting Brexit happen.
For Johnny Cryin, the choice is between weltschmerz and nothingness.
New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.
Maybe John Cryan isn't the unluckiest Briton in Germany since the Cold War.
"I don't want more beans on toast, Jamie Dimon. I want to go HOME!"