Europe
Zuckerberg Is Ready To Play The Dating Game In Europe
But he’s made a few concessions.
Deutsche Bank Somehow Still A Thing That Exists
Admitting to collecting fees from a notorious sex criminal is somehow only the third-worst thing that has happened to Deutsche Bank in the last 24 hours.
American President Spends Morning Whining About The Unfair Power Moves Of...Wait For It... Mario Draghi
Donald Trump is jealous of the ECB now.
![By EU2017EE Estonian Presidency (Theresa May) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTgwMjY0OTgyMDA1/theresamay2.jpg)
Tacitly Admitting That She Will Not Be Able To Overcome Her Own Decision-Making, Theresa May Resigns As Prime Minister
Brexit claims its second British leader.
Unaware That It Already Is One, Deutsche Bank Contemplates Formation Of "Bad Bank" Unit
If Deutsche Bank puts all its bad assets, liabilities and stalled business lines into one entity, what would be left of Deutsche Bank?
Donald Trump Decides That, Actually, Société Générale Is Gonna Pay For His Wall
Well, this is a fun twist.
UBS Announces That The Q1 '19 Investment Banking Environment Was UBS-Levels Of Sucky
CEO Sergio Ermotti warns everyone that European banks might report numbers troublingly close to his bank's normal ones.
The French Are Giving Themselves A Second Chance On This Danske Bank Thing
In light of all the other international investigations, maybe Danske was a wee bit more than an “assisted witness.”
EU Tells Theresa May That She Has Fully Played Herself On Brexit
Charging into her own certain political death isn't smart, but it's definitely British.
The Italian Crisis Is A Glimpse of America's Future
And this is more than just electing billionaires with a penchant for banging porn stars.
Norway: Future Shithole Country
The country's sovereign wealth fund has an almost third world level of risk.
Lloyd Blankfein Is At A Pretending-To-Like-Frankfurt-Level Of Ready For Brexit
The new king of Twitter is literally just fucking with Theresa May on social media.
Brian Moynihan Choosing Dublin As BofA's Post-Brexit Home Because Who Doesn't Love A Cliché
It has fewer Irish people than Boston, but BriMo is gonna love it.
![Partying like its 2014. By DTRocks (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTg1MzY0NDA0MTg4/tsipras7.jpg)
Greece Tests Just How Forgiving The Bond Market Can Be
Who wants to add to the country's already-unsustainable pile of debt?
Bonus Watch '17: Damn Europe, You Crazy Edition
Morgan Stanley doesn't get France and the strongest case yet for just letting Brexit happen.
Because The Pain Is The Only Thing That Feels Real Anymore, John Cryan Plans To Stay At Deutsche Bank
For Johnny Cryin, the choice is between weltschmerz and nothingness.
![By Thomas Wolf (Der Wolf im Wald) (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE2NjQ1NTE2Nzg5/frankfurt.jpg)
Deutsche Bank Exec Appears To Be Totally Unaware That Deutsche Bank Is Headquartered In Germany
New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.
Markets So Relieved By French Election Results That Even Deutsche Bank Is Having A Good Day
Maybe John Cryan isn't the unluckiest Briton in Germany since the Cold War.
Sick Of Watching Britain Figure Out How To Revolt Politely, Ex-Pat Bankers In London Are Offering To Just Brexit Themselves
"I don't want more beans on toast, Jamie Dimon. I want to go HOME!"
![By Carole Raddato from FRANKFURT, Germany [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE0MjI4ODc3Mjc2/acropolis.jpg)