Donald Trump Decides That, Actually, Société Générale Is Gonna Pay For His Wall
Well, this is a fun twist.
Europe
UBS Announces That The Q1 '19 Investment Banking Environment Was UBS-Levels Of Sucky
CEO Sergio Ermotti warns everyone that European banks might report numbers troublingly close to his bank's normal ones.
The French Are Giving Themselves A Second Chance On This Danske Bank Thing
In light of all the other international investigations, maybe Danske was a wee bit more than an “assisted witness.”
EU Tells Theresa May That She Has Fully Played Herself On Brexit
Charging into her own certain political death isn't smart, but it's definitely British.
The Italian Crisis Is A Glimpse of America's Future
And this is more than just electing billionaires with a penchant for banging porn stars.
Norway: Future Shithole Country
The country's sovereign wealth fund has an almost third world level of risk.
Lloyd Blankfein Is At A Pretending-To-Like-Frankfurt-Level Of Ready For Brexit
The new king of Twitter is literally just fucking with Theresa May on social media.
Brian Moynihan Choosing Dublin As BofA's Post-Brexit Home Because Who Doesn't Love A Cliché
It has fewer Irish people than Boston, but BriMo is gonna love it.
![Partying like its 2014. By DTRocks (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTg1MzY0NDA0MTg4/tsipras7.jpg)
Greece Tests Just How Forgiving The Bond Market Can Be
Who wants to add to the country's already-unsustainable pile of debt?
Bonus Watch '17: Damn Europe, You Crazy Edition
Morgan Stanley doesn't get France and the strongest case yet for just letting Brexit happen.
Because The Pain Is The Only Thing That Feels Real Anymore, John Cryan Plans To Stay At Deutsche Bank
For Johnny Cryin, the choice is between weltschmerz and nothingness.
![By Thomas Wolf (Der Wolf im Wald) (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE2NjQ1NTE2Nzg5/frankfurt.jpg)
Deutsche Bank Exec Appears To Be Totally Unaware That Deutsche Bank Is Headquartered In Germany
New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.
Markets So Relieved By French Election Results That Even Deutsche Bank Is Having A Good Day
Maybe John Cryan isn't the unluckiest Briton in Germany since the Cold War.
Sick Of Watching Britain Figure Out How To Revolt Politely, Ex-Pat Bankers In London Are Offering To Just Brexit Themselves
"I don't want more beans on toast, Jamie Dimon. I want to go HOME!"
![By Carole Raddato from FRANKFURT, Germany [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE0MjI4ODc3Mjc2/acropolis.jpg)
Deutsche Bank To Germans: Is It Too Late Now To Say Sorry?
Cryan knows that he let you down. Is it too late to say entschuldigung now?
Hedge Funds Find Another Way President Trump Will Make Them Great Again
Suddenly Europe looks like a relatively less chaotic political hellscape.
Deutsche Bank Employees Now Subscribing To A "F@ck This Sh!t" Notion Of Esprit De Corps
DB traders in London are responding to the sturm und drang of recent days by just rolling in they want.
![By Eduardo P (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NDIxMzE5NzU5MzQ5/santander.jpg)
Banco Santander Doing Its Best Impression Of A Non-Spanish Bank
And just when Brian Moynihan was gonna make siestas a thing.
