With the European economy in not-so slow collapse, Tidjane Thiam is wondering how much people like having their money in Swiss Francs.
Nigel Farage is being stalked by milkshake terrorists.
CEO Sergio Ermotti warns everyone that European banks might report numbers troublingly close to his bank's normal ones.
Deutsche Bank and Commerzbank are exploring a co-dependent marriage predicated on ruining thousands of lives.
Hey, Commerzbank, congratulations on your impending shotgun marriage to Frankfurt's hottest mess.
Paul Achleitner has a plan...well, a new plan, the other plans were disastrous and he sees that now.
And this is more than just electing billionaires with a penchant for banging porn stars.
You needn’t risk spending a few decades frozen in a glacier to keep busy in the Alps these days.
Who wants to add to the country's already-unsustainable pile of debt?
For some, no Brexit will ever be hard enough.
Maybe John Cryan isn't the unluckiest Briton in Germany since the Cold War.
Wolfgang explains it all.
"I don't want more beans on toast, Jamie Dimon. I want to go HOME!"
Zut allors! Quelle catastophe!
Paging Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
Cryan knows that he let you down. Is it too late to say entschuldigung now?
Suddenly Europe looks like a relatively less chaotic political hellscape.
Mark Carney gonna be like "New phone, who dis?"