Trumpkin F.D.I.C. Chair Develops Newfound Respect For Rules, Order, Procedure
What seem like meddlesome requirements in a deregulatory environment are a godsend in a regulatory one.
A**hole Bouncer May Have Kept You From Getting A Drink, But Can No Longer Keep You From Getting A Job At A Bank
Get caught lifting some pregnancy tests from a CVS when you were 18? Visit careers.jpmorgan.com today!
Regulators Unceremoniously Dump Volcker Rule Into Crude Ditch Next To Its Author
But not without delivering another, posthumous “F.U.” to the late former Fed chief.
What America Needs At This Particular Moment Is Definitely A New Bank From Jack Dorsey
An eager and not-at-all-shellshocked world greets the arrival of Square Financial Services.
Promised Regulatory Bonfire Might Finally Get Underway
Team Trump’s got a few months to do what they couldn’t in their first year-plus.
Latest FDIC Pick Already Looking For Excuse Not To Take Job
When the president asks you to do something, you find something else more important to do.
FDIC To Bank Of America: We Could Use That $1 Billion About Now, Capisce?
No one fucks with the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation – except maybe Brian Moynihan.
Of Course Wells Fargo Flunked Its Latest Living Will Test
Wells Fargo is failing tests like a hungover freshman who can't even read.
Banks Prove That They Are Not Too Big To Fail By Saying "We Can Fail" On A Piece Of Paper, Moving On
One way you could spend this slow week is reading the "living wills" submitted by a bunch of banks telling regulators how to wind them up if they go under. Don't, though: they're about the most boring and least informative things imaginable and I am angry that I read them.* Here for instance is how JPMorgan would wind itself up if left to its own devices**: (1) It would just file for bankruptcy and stiff its non-deposit creditors (at the holding company and then, if necessary, at the bank). (2) If after stiffing its non-deposit creditors it didn't have enough money to pay its depositors it would sell its highly attractive businesses in a competitive sale to willing buyers who would pay top dollar. This seems wrong, no? And not just in the sense of "in my opinion that would be sort of difficult, what with people freaking out about JPMorgan going bankrupt and its highly attractive businesses having landing it in, um, bankruptcy." It's wrong in the sense that it's the opposite of having a plan for dealing with banks being "too big to fail": it's premised on an assumption that the bank is not too big to fail. If JPMorgan runs into trouble that it can't get out of without taxpayer support, it'll just file for bankruptcy like anybody else. Depositors will be repaid (if they're under FDIC limits); non-depositor creditors will be screwed just like they would be on a failure of Second Community Bank of Kenosha.