Frankfurt

The new king of Twitter is literally just fucking with Theresa May on social media.

Pro: No one willingly lives in Frankfurt so you can demand a raise. Con: No one willingly lives in Frankfurt.

On second thought, maybe London isn't the best place to run a global banking business.

If Theresa May forces you to stop being her neighbor, you’re not gonna like where you’re going.

Frankfurt may be ready and Dublin might be cheap, but all Jamie D wants to do is take a moonlit stroll down the Champs-Élysées.

The French want the European Banking Authority, bad.

And, for those lucky treasury services employees, the Grand Duchy!

We get why Deutsche Bank hates its hometown.

New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.

"I don't want more beans on toast, Jamie Dimon. I want to go HOME!"

It's starting to dawn on Deutsche Bank that senior executives are pretty keen on - like - getting bonuses or whatever.

If "risk management arrangements" doesn't get your juices flowing, Germany might not be right for you.

What's the word for the opposite of schadenfreude?

Things are getting not better over in Jolly Old.

It's not like post-Brexit London financiers are going to move there *willingly*.