Goldman To Turn Gymboree Into Something More Goldman-y
And, surprise, surprise, make sure it makes money on a series of spectacularly miscalculated investments.
Goldman Sachs
So There’s One Company That Would Really Love To Do An IPO Like, Right This Second
Do you make biohazard masks in Italy? Because then you might want to as well.
![By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIzODkyNjg0Mjc3/gavel.jpg)
One Stupid Trick For Avoiding Coronavirus Market Whiplash
Just, like, ignore everything until 3:30.
Kyle Bass Thinks There’s A Place The Coronavirus Could Do Some Real Good
The hedge fund manager’s distaste for the Chinese Communist Party is deep and strong.
No One Wants To Work With David Solomon
Trouble holding onto talent is another part of the new Goldman Sachs.
Banker No Longer Allowed To Be A Banker Quits Job At Bank
Andrea Vella is super excited about the next stage of his career, which almost certainly will not involve travel to Malaysia.
Is This What David Solomon Was Hoping For?
Goldman’s new open-hearted approach is yet to pay dividends.
Newly-Woke Goldman Sachs Takes Next Logical Minimal Step Towards Diversity
If you board has as many penises as members, you can take your IPO elsewhere.
Goldman Spending Heavily On Regulatory Fines, Becoming A Different Bank Entirely
DJ D-Sol is spinning some sad tunes up on 12 if you’d like to commiserate.
Goldman Insider-Trader To Give Up $24K From Sunglasses Case, $236K More
There’ll be far fewer trips to B-Dubs for Bryan Cohen going forward.
It’s Like We Don’t Even Know Who Goldman Sachs Is Anymore
More transparency? To attract investors? What is this, Bank of America?
Making 1MDB Go Away Is Gonna Hurt Goldman Bad
It’s not the $2 billion. It’s the “we were wrong, we’re sorry” part.
Tim Leissner Free To Pursue Party-Planning Career
Because the former Goldman Sachs scam artist is not going to be investment banking anymore.
David Solomon Like Every Normal Guy Who Spends His Weekends DJing In The Bahamas
He may even take AirTrain to JFK.
![By U.S. Government [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MjA4NzE4MzUzOTA5/cftc.jpg)
CFTC Develops Novel DoJ Drafting Technique Of Cut-Rate Regulation
It’s cheap, it’s (somewhat) effective and it makes everyone happy (except for the people going to jail).
More Senior Traders Are Taking Their Butter And Going Home* From Goldman Sachs
*"Home" in this case being BlueCrest Capital Management.
Robinhood, Which Is Not A Video Game For Trading Real Money, Has A Cheat Code That Allows Users To Get Infinite Money
Press X, Y, Down, Down, Left, Y, X for what has to be securities fraud.
Pops And Popsy Search For Truffles In The Forest: An Insider-Trading Story
Told in four (and counting?) indictments.
SEC Increasingly Aware That Goldman Sachs Traders Are Deeply Desperate To Survive DJ D-Sol's Purge
The blue windbreakers are now making biannual visits to the trading floors of 200 West Street.
Goldman Sachs Has Come Around To The Logic Of Not Paying People Goldman Sachs Salaries
Average comp is down 50% at 200 West Street, unless you're a robot, in which case, you're taking John Rogers' job.
Goldman Sachs Dealing With A Third Quarter Hipster Hangover
Over at 200 West Street, the trading Trotskyites are bailing out the WeWork-investing Stalinists [this is a perfect allegory].