Just for the sake of being fair, Peter Thiel would like to note that Google is currently committing treason.
Ruth Porat might be suddenly available for a job that's suddenly not so terrible by comparison.
It is the women who must share the still-married Alphabet chairman.
Oh no, the intern is talking about stocks...
Mike Schuster has the chance to be the hedge fund’s last human employee.
You kids today don’t know what kind of a bargain you’re getting.
On today's edition of "Everybody Hates Uber."
We're not saying this is a trap, but we're definitely not saying it isn't.
Somebody hand Bill Ackman a fat blunt and a can of Tecate.
Boris Johnson is getting all kinds of famous.
Who DOESN'T want to buy Yahoo for whatever it might - or might not be - worth?
That sound you hear is Wall Street groaning in unison.
Just because an idea won't ever happen, that doesn't make it less awesome.
Overriding at Alphabet is less "Don't be evil," More "Netflix n' chill within the parameters of the law."