United Natural Foods really should have read the not-so-fine print.
After dressing up the world's most potent financial services company as a 90's era M&A i-bank, DJ D-Sol is apparently into cosplay.
We call this a "Canadian Brag."
Unlike those silly traders, a greybeard investment banker like DJ D-Sol will quell the rebellion before it even begins.
Paul Dexter is going to have to find new ways to enjoy the summer.
This is truly shameful. It's like he wasn't even really trying.
With one email, Bill Keenan becomes a "Fuck Y'all, goodbye!" legend.
Instead of Christmas carols in the lobby, Barclays will be pumping "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" on repeat this holiday season.
Original thought could use some supply-side stimulus.
The real punishment, however, is having to be friends with BlackBerry now.
Jeffrey Urwin is gonna take off now...because DUH.
DB traders in London are responding to the sturm und drang of recent days by just rolling in they want.
In the House of Corbat, this is called swagger.
Like 1995, when the IPO market wasn't the flaming slag heap it is today.
And god help you if you sound like you're from Newcastle.
Or continue sucking, as it were.
Our first submission for summer intern emails has arrived and it's...a really weird one.
Travis Kalanick might be medically allergic to ticker tape.