Actually Twitter’s Pretty Happy To Not Be Owned By Elon Musk
If there were any doubt about it, here’s a poison pill the company’s got between its teeth, ready to bite down should Musk place any large orders.
Elon Musk Again Demonstrates Belief That Rules Do Not Apply To Him
Especially SEC rules.
Jack Dorsey’s Consciousness Has Not Been Raised To The Existence Of Other Tax Preparation Companies Called ‘Block’
So it’s being raised in lawsuit form.
The Mind-Bending, Fiduciary Duty-Slaying Power Of Paul Singer
Fear of Elliott is now a valid basis for a legal claim.
Paul Singer Swears He’s Definitely Not Thinking About Deposing Jack Dorsey With These 3.5 Million New Shares He Just Bought
He just thinks, like, Twitter’s a great business on the right track, which is definitely something he says about lots of companies he’s invested in.
What America Needs At This Particular Moment Is Definitely A New Bank From Jack Dorsey
An eager and not-at-all-shellshocked world greets the arrival of Square Financial Services.
Silver Lake Pays $1 Billion To Save Jack Dorsey, For Some Reason
Paul Singer’s bloodlust is temporarily sated by a $2 billion buyback.
Anthony Noto Realizes That Saving Jack Dorsey From Himself Is A Terrible Job, Gets New Job Saving SoFi From Itself
Only a Goldman Sachs guy could save SoFi and fuck Twitter in one solitary chess move.
FX Traders Prove Twitter Might Have A Purpose After All
Someone let Jack Dorsey know there's still a reason to live.
Jack Dorsey Is Just Choosing Not To Be Profitable, You Guys, So Calm The F@ck Down
Maybe just don't say this from the comfort of your Irish tax haven Global HQ.
Wall Street Still Surprised That Twitter Is Still Not Making Money
What are we even doing here?
Marc Benioff Will Not Be Allowed To Rescue Twitter After All
Sorry, Jack, Big Marc ain't walking through that door.
Jack Dorsey Is Pricing Out The Dopest Deck Chairs For His Twitter Titanic
When Jack shouts "We can do it!" Reality shouts "No you can't!"
Report: Disney Considering Adding Jack Dorsey To Its Collection Of Adorable Cartoon Characters
Is Bob Iger looking to take one of Jack's jobs off his hands?
Depressed Twitter Got Super Drunk And Thought About Going Home With Yahoo: NY Post
What we talk about when we talk about desperate tech companies.
Twitter HQ Is Like Hogwarts But Without Magic Or Joy
"Jack Dorsey and The Prisoner of Silicon Valley"