Brian Moynihan Tries To Call Jamie Dimon A P*ssy With Spectacular Self-Own
Pfffft. Who isn’t living in an unrelenting hellscape all the time? God.
Jamie Dimon Runs His 2024 Presidential Platform By Guy He Plans To Replace
The next president of the United States is from Queens, but it won’t be the last president of the United States from Queens.
Firing Watch ’22: Jamie Dimon Is Itching To Make An Example Of You Anti-Vaxxers
Stand in the way of his forcing people back to the office, get canned.
Jamie Dimon Back To No Longer Publicly Hiding His Disdain For Cryptos
He’s back to calling them worthless and comparing them to cigarettes.
Junior JPMorgan Chasers Urged To Grind Themselves To Dust To Pay For Jamie Dimon’s Latest Bonus And Also Find Themselves
Both of which are completely unnecessary for purpose, but apparently necessary to maintaining Wall Street’s culture or something.
Wells, BofA Prove Stimulus Is Working By Not Looking Like Dogsh*t In Q1
If even they are inoculated, there’s hope for us all.
Infected JPMorgan Employees Haven’t Spread COVID To Bank’s Bottom Line
Citigroup, on the other hand, is still feeling under the weather.
JPMorgan Trader Gets COVID At Highly Inconvenient And Embarrassing Time
A week before his colleagues are being ordered back to the office and at the same time that Jamie Dimon is extolling the plan’s virtues.
It’s Not Jamie Dimon’s Fault He Can’t Help Sounding Presidential
Maybe all of you Bernie Bros should have thought about that before scaring him out of the race and leaving us with Joe Biden.
JPMorgan Will Take Bitcoin Exchanges’ Actual Money, While They Still Have Some
Bitcoin might not be worth anything, but banking services definitely are.
David Solomon Delivers Economic Reopening Advice President Wouldn’t Hear Even If He Had Been On The Call
“Rebuilding confidence in safety and security” is sort of the opposite of the president’s modus operandi.
Jamie Dimon Issues Conflicting Statements About Presidential Bid
This is getting exhausting.
Does Jamie Dimon Know He’s Endorsed A Non-Chase Corporate Card?
Expensify has chosen a weird way to pitch itself to JPMorgan.
Man Who Made $31.5 Million Last Year Still Not A Fan Of Socialism
Comrade Sanders is threatening to erode society, by which Jamie Dimon presumably means his $1.7 billion (and growing!) fortune.