Our sources say "Yessir, buckaroo."
Happy Father's Day from Jamie Dimon and his lawyers!
The Khaleesi of Wall Street throws some shade at The Stagecoach.
If less than 75% of these yahoos think one man shouldn't be making more than $30 million a year, he might as well go run The Free World.
Never tweet, even if it's your literal job.
The gods must be appeased, and the next POTUS has moved to appease them.
This was a true waste of everyone's time.
Is there a Congressional hearing tomorrow? Well, what a fun coincidence!
Doesn't every bank CEO speak sonorously of American promise and augur the menace of socialism in their annual letters?
For a guy who's not running for president, Jamie Dimon spends an inordinate amount of time running for president.
Siri, what's something you'd make your bank do if you wanted to run for President?
The 46th President of these United States uses new metaphor to not say that he's not running.
JPMCoin is the first financial instrument built to troll a whole class of financial instruments.
The 46th President of The United States tells CNBC that his body belongs to both sides of the aisle.
He's definitely not not running.
35 million JPM shares? We get it, Mr. Oracle, and we're glad to have you aboard.
The Khaleesi of Wall Street is entering the "Dopey" portion of his pre-campaign rope-a-dope.
400 of you are no longer required to MJPMCGA.
Sorry, Jay, you're just not a fit with the next administration.