John Cryan
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WhatsApp Is Free… Until It Isn’t
Failing to keep track of the untrackable is proving very expensive for banks.
Famed Turnaround Artist To Lead Man Group Back To Glory
Man Group’s Deutsche Bank cosplay may have gone a bit too far.
Here’s A Less-Than-Ringing Endorsement Of John Cryan
The former Deutsche Bank chief isn’t at Man Group yet, but the hedge fund’s president won't wait for his arrival.
Deutsche Bank Blaming Latest Legal Trouble On John Cryan Because Old Habits Die Hard
Meet the new boss, blaming the old boss!
Deutsche Bank Wants To Hire Young People, But We Won't Fall For Its Tricks
We're stupid, but not this stupid
Drama-Thirsty Deutsche Bank Chairman Expresses Love For John Thain, And Quality Seamen
Paul Achleitner is really enjoying day one of life after Johnny Cryin, while Deutsche Bankers remain angst-ridden.
Deutsche Bank's Mercy Killing Of John Cryan Is Predictably Free Of Mercy
Congrats(?) to Christian Sewing.
John Cryan Fully Committed To Flagellating Himself For The Next Two Years
No one else may want to be at Deutsche Bank, but the chief wants to go down with the ship.
Deutsche Bank CEO Search Exactly The Catastrophe You’d Expect
Better to let the new guy know what he’s in for, assuming there will actually be a new guy.
Deutsche Bank Admits That Sometimes It Feels Like It's Still Living In The Hellscape Of 2015
John Cryan explains why Deutsche Bank missed huge again, and ponders the existence of joy.
Brian Moynihan Poaches John Cryan's Connection To SoftBank In Vicious Demonstration Of Sad-On-Sad Violence
One of these two just beat the other at something, and what even is this life?
Robert Mueller Subpoenas The Michael Flynn Of International Banks
Why do we feel like Deutsche Bank is the only one that didn't see this coming?
John Cryan Tells Deutsche Bank Employees That There Are Far Too Many Of Them
The most beloved boss in finance is ready to replace about half of his people with robots.
Jes Staley Is Having A Very John Cryan Day, As Is John Cryan
No one deserves to feel like Deutsche Bank, not even Deutsche Bank.
Analyst Downgrades Deutsche Bank To "Basically Fucked"
Autonomous pretty certain that the fall of The House of Cryan is nigh.
Because The Pain Is The Only Thing That Feels Real Anymore, John Cryan Plans To Stay At Deutsche Bank
For Johnny Cryin, the choice is between weltschmerz and nothingness.
Deutsche Bank Is Gonna Go Ahead And Fine Itself $60 Million For Latest Apparent Volcker Lapse
The shame is punishment enough.
As Much As Deutsche Bank Would LOVE To Get Publicly Involved With Trump's Potential Impeachment Crisis Via Its Own Russian Trading Scandal, It Literally Can't Right Now
Sorry Congress, there are laws against this, and Deutsche Bank sometimes obeys laws.
Deutsche Bank To Former Board Members: These Absurdly Expensive Fines Ain't Just Gonna Pay Themselves
The House of Cryan is attempting to create the politley Lutheran clawback.
Deutsche Bank's Social Impact Hashtag Game Is Very Deutsche Bank
#Everyonestalking falls into that uncanny valley between positive gossip and terribly creepy.
Deutsche Bank Exec Appears To Be Totally Unaware That Deutsche Bank Is Headquartered In Germany
New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.
Markets So Relieved By French Election Results That Even Deutsche Bank Is Having A Good Day
Maybe John Cryan isn't the unluckiest Briton in Germany since the Cold War.