And before you make that offer to Carrie Toldstedt, you might want to read on.
Step 1 was fucking up so unbelievably hard.
At this point, the only person who makes sense as Uber COO is John Stumpf.
Running the gauntlet with Wells Fargo.
After internal investigation, Wells Fargo relieved to see that it already fired all the bad people.
Tim Sloan still trying to figure out what drove all those employees to recklessly pursue arbitrary sales goals.
Let he who is without a reputation-shattering sales scandal of biblical proportions on his watch cast the first stone.
Another cross-selling scandal is the kind of voodoo that even a Trump White House might not be able to ignore.
At least Wells Fargo is consistent.
You can breathe a sigh of relief, J-Dimez.
This 30 second TV spot feels longer than a Stumpf Senate hearing.
This is an interesting peek inside life at the stagecoach.
Even Wells Fargo's website thinks Tim Sloan and John Stumpf are hard to tell apart.
No offense or anything.
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
"Do we have a guy maybe MORE tarred than Stumpf? Promote him!"
500 execs can keep a secret, right?