JP Morgan Chase
Layoff Watch '19: The Entire Chase Social Media Should Just Start Packing Up Their Desks Now
Never tweet, even if it's your literal job.
![By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIxNzQ1NzI1NDA0/jamiedimon3.jpg)
Opening Bell 7.13.18
JPMorgan earnings; Activist investors; Woodchucks eating cars and more!
As JP Morgan Nears Settlement Over Asian Hiring Practices, Let's Remember The Super Star Of This Tale
Everybody give it up, one last time, for Gao Jue.
Former JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley, Barclays, BAML, Goldman Sachs Intern Has YouTube Stardom To Fallback On
Take it away, Jess Greenberg.
Jamie Dimon: Millennials Ultimately Powerless Against Chase's Charms
Resist if you like, but sooner or later, y'all will come around.
Layoffs Watch '16: JP Morgan
The bank said goodbye to 100 employees who cater to the rich yesterday.
Elder Half Of Father/Son Insider Trading Duo Avoids Jail Time
Though it'll be a while before Robert Stewart "plays golf" [wink wink] again.
Not Paying Out Billions In Legal Fees Is Boon To JP Morgan's Profit
So that's something new and exciting.
First Year Bank Analysts Who Thought They'd Be Running The Show 6 Months In Are Angry
But not at themselves for apparently not knowing what the job of first year analyst entails.
JP Morgan Shows 5 Employees The Door For Sports Betting On The Clock
Turns out gambling at the office is not a great idea.
Compensation Watch: Bank CEOs Did Okay Last Year
Brian Moynihan brought up the rear, but it was with $16 million, so he'll be okay.
Ex-JPMorgan Broker And Gambling Addict, Who Stole $20 Million From Clients, Sentenced To Miss Next 5 Super Bowls
"Even his bookie expressed sympathy for him."
Street Gangs Giving White Collar Criminals A Run For Their Money: WSJ
Groups like the "Outlaw Gangsta Crips" and "Van Dyke Money Gang" are making JP Morgan and co. their victims.
JP Morgan Tells Employees To Go Ahead And Take The Weekend Off
And not just one each month. Take 'em all!
JP Morgan Department Of (Allegedly!) Smearing Employees As Retaliation For Whistleblowing Needs Retraining
Don't ask JP Morgan for an explanation why it wrote complaints about an ex-employee and put clients signatures on the bottom.
JP Morgan Planning To Tell Market Maker To Hit The Bricks, Come Back When It's Thought About What It's Done
KCG Holdings is probably going to fired...with the door open to be rehired.
Bonus Watch '15: JP Morgan To Make Other Banks Look Like Cheapskates
Good for JP Morgan employees, less good for JP Morgan peers, who are gonna be hearing a lot of "Why can't you be more like JP Morgan?"
Would Be KBW Intern Hopes Dave Chappelle Clip Takes Sting Out Of News He's Picking JPM
Funny YouTube clips generally ease the sting of rejection, yes?
JP Morgan Broker Who Stole $20 Million From Clients Wishes Justice Had Been Swifter
Michael Oppenheim isn't saying it's JP Morgan's fault the bank didn't catch his thievery quicker, but he's not NOT saying it.