JPMorgan Chase
Junior JPMorgan Chasers Urged To Grind Themselves To Dust To Pay For Jamie Dimon’s Latest Bonus And Also Find Themselves
Both of which are completely unnecessary for purpose, but apparently necessary to maintaining Wall Street’s culture or something.
You’ve Heard From The Best, Now Hear From The Rest
Wall Street’s also-rans confirm that the second quarter was a good one indeed for banks.
Compensation Watch ’21: Goldman Sachs First Years
Goldman has done very well. Goldman’s kiddies? Maybe less so.
Jamie Dimon Too Busy Buying Fintechs To Check In On Fintech He Already Owns
The SEC, on the other hand…
![By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MzI1MjE5Mjc2Mjc3/jamie.jpg)
How To Compare Your Bosses To The Brutal, Genocidal Former Head Of The KGB And Thrive
The Jeremy Barnum story.
Jamie Dimon Trolling Marianne Lake By Making Her Run Something With Her Competition
This will season her up good.
Wells, BofA Prove Stimulus Is Working By Not Looking Like Dogsh*t In Q1
If even they are inoculated, there’s hope for us all.
![By Steve Jurvetson (Flickr: Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTk2NjM4NTYxNzgx/jamie-dimon.jpg)
Can You Stop Asking Jamie Dimon About Voting Rights And Start Asking Him About That Quarter?
Four hundred percent, people! Four hundred percent!
Wells, JPMorgan Saving A Great St. Patrick’s Day Present For You
Other banks have chosen getting stimulus money to their customers ASAP, but the big guys are planning a green gift on the greenest day.
Citi Stupidity Clause Now Standard Feature Of Debt Deals
Never again will a bank have to admit how bad at banking it is in court, at least on this matter.
It May Be Illegal To Hire A Princeling As A Bribe, But It’s Not Illegal To Ask Someone Else To Do It
Apparently not in Hong Kong, anyway.
Here’s What’s Keeping Jamie Dimon Up at Night
Here’s a hint - it rhymes with “snare.”
Jamie Dimon Has So Much Extra Cash To Not Spend On Bonuses, Political Donations
The not-46th-president-of-the-United-States made history this week all the same.
![By World Economic Forum from Cologny, Switzerland [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MzA2MTYwODE3NjUz/thiam.jpg)
SPACs Get Unemployed Execs Off The Dole
Blank check companies brighten the day for Tidjane Thiam and Kelly Loeffler.
Bank PACs To Think About Financing Efforts To Shred Constitution For A Little While
And private equity firms have even bigger concerns.
Bonus Watch ’20: Your Bonus Is No Torches And Pitchforks At Your Front Door
BriMoy & co. are gonna hold on to what’s rightfully yours for your own good.
Whoever Could Have Foreseen This?
Jamie Dimon, Jeff Bezos and Warren Buffett give up on revolutionizing the American healthcare industry.
![By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIxNzQ1NzI1NDA0/jamiedimon3.jpg)
Scrooge McDimon’s War On Christmas
If Dirk Albersmeier catches someone so much as putting a holiday card up in the cubicle, there will be hell to pay: There are SPAC prospectuses to read.
Someone Is Getting Marianne Lake’s Hopes Up Again
An unidentified regulator has some bad news for Jamie Dimon.
Infected JPMorgan Employees Haven’t Spread COVID To Bank’s Bottom Line
Citigroup, on the other hand, is still feeling under the weather.