JPMorgan Chase

A week before his colleagues are being ordered back to the office and at the same time that Jamie Dimon is extolling the plan’s virtues.

And if you’re a JPMorgan trader, it’s your job to keep him company.

Jamie Dimon’s not proud of it, but there it is.

Nothing is f*cked, dude.

But not without delivering another, posthumous “F.U.” to the late former Fed chief.

Maybe all of you Bernie Bros should have thought about that before scaring him out of the race and leaving us with Joe Biden.

The stagecoach has a ways to go before the Morgans feel the shock of recognition.

There will be no banking intern vomit on Stone Street this year.

Others need not apply. Or, they can, but expect that application to get lost in a mountain of paperwork.

Charlie Scharf’s transformation plan is still a work in progress.

The first rule of bailout money is: Talk a lot about what you’re doing with your bailout money.

An eager and not-at-all-shellshocked world greets the arrival of Square Financial Services.

Of course, they’ll have a hell of a time proving it, but they just want to make themselves clear.

If you’ve been in contact with Solus Alternative Asset Management’s flagship, please lock your door right away and swallow the key.

But don’t worry, little stagecoach drivers: Jamie Dimon’s son-in-law is figuring out how to fix all of those broken wooden wheels.

This is getting exhausting.

They’d like to know if he improperly kept his underwear on in his disclosures to them.

Expensify has chosen a weird way to pitch itself to JPMorgan.