JPMorgan Chase

Give him your hungry, your tired, your convicted felons yearning to, uh, say hello to people as they enter a Chase branch.

Certain bankers might wish to avoid entering any Saudi diplomatic posts for the time being.

Jamie's people are relatively happy while Wells Fargo's people...work at Wells Fargo.

Jamie Dimon is apparently quite unimpressed with his Summer People.

These Hong Kong prosecutors just don’t understand the nuances of the slang and jargon of investment bankers.

J.D. & co. are betting that’ll be enough to keep the twenty- and thirty-somethings rolling in to their local chase branch.

Happy Father's Day from Jamie Dimon and his lawyers!

Everybody's favorite free-spending co-working space is looking for that sweet pre-IPO line of credit.

If less than 75% of these yahoos think one man shouldn't be making more than $30 million a year, he might as well go run The Free World.

Nor about the former executive within its jurisdiction who allegedly helped make it rain IPOs.

The gods must be appeased, and the next POTUS has moved to appease them.

Doesn't every bank CEO speak sonorously of American promise and augur the menace of socialism in their annual letters?

Makes sense, right?

These eight-figure checks don’t send the message, “we don’t care.”

For a guy who's not running for president, Jamie Dimon spends an inordinate amount of time running for president.

But he’s sure it’ll all work out in the end, or something.

You know, if the price is right and it can sell the stuff off before inauguration day.

He's definitely not not running.