Justice Department

It hopes the SEC and Justice Department do, too.

It’s clock-striking-midnight dealmaking time at the Justice Department.

Luckily for David Solomon, Bill Barr is super-busy destroying democracy these days.

Oh, there was also some alleged insurance fraud going on in the opioid-pushing.

At least, they say no one can question whether they’re doing it, which is just as good.

Did a hedge fund manager learn a little too much from his erstwhile enemies?

Mommy and Daddy in this case being China and the U.S.

Your parents may ask why you’re spending so much on “home décor,” but it’s better than the alternative.

How about no premium data fees at all, you monopolistic bastards?

Also, isn’t a $2 billion fine for ripping a country off of $6.5 billion sort of excessive, when you think about it, Attorney General Barr?

Maybe they should try obstructing justice on the president’s behalf, instead.

Bank Hapoalim went native in Switzerland.

In case you were thinking of using some of your PPP money that way.

So he’s gonna pretend to do something about it.

Of course, they’ll have a hell of a time proving it, but they just want to make themselves clear.

All at once. In the form of some very large checks to the Justice Department and SEC.

It’s not the $2 billion. It’s the “we were wrong, we’re sorry” part.

It wouldn’t be right for the consulting giant not to have at least one giant question mark hanging over it.