Oh, Evita Breadsticks, we'll will miss you most of all...
Fare thee well, Purple Kingdom, the stench of your failure will keep you alive in our hearts.
Newly-minted "Oath:" wants you to know that things are coming from its colon.
But does her golden parachute include an exciting new gig at Verizon?
Allowing Marissa to "claw back" her own bonus is the kind of PR clusterfuck that makes Wells Fargo giggle.
If this relationship is gonna work out, there are going to be a quarter of a billion fewer dollars at stake.
Is Altaba an Esperanto word for "The Blonde Lady Hurt Me"?
This engagement was never gonna work out, you guys.
We're not saying this is a trap, but we're definitely not saying it isn't.
Well ain't this some bullshit?
This was not what Verizon fell in love with over the phone.
Oh, Marissa, you've outdone yourself.
Really, Verizon, you're shocked Yahoo might not be in great shape? Really?
Just when you thought Marissa couldn't f@ck up any worse.
Marissa Mayer finally finds herself on the right side of schadenfreude.
She could stay on post-merger, but the Gods of Logic would weep.
She might just pull a half-dead rabbit out of a badly-damaged hat after all, you guys.
"Pay me billions for this thing I broke" is a bold sales pitch, but Marissa Mayer is a bold executive.
Yahoo's buyer will likely have to pay Mozilla more than $1B because Marissa Mayer thought Yahoo was a search engine.
Marissa will have to content herself with Silicon Valley this year.
Marissa Mayer might be greatest illusionist in the history of business.