Market News
Peloton CEO Uses IPO Day To Prove That He's Only Kind Of Been Paying Attention
Hey, when was the last time that admitting to “prioritizing growth over profitability” bitten a tech IPO in the ass?
On China Trade Update, Trump Zigs While Mnuchin...Mnuchins
You guys want to see the new "Who's on first?" routine, but about the slow death of the global economy?
Michael Burry Sees A Bubble In Passive Index Investing
The contrarian investor gives passive index funds a thorough tongue-lashing -- and sees opportunity in small-cap stocks (that he happens to own).
Markets Considering Possibility That Escalating Tariffs Between Two Largest Global Economies Are Indeed Bad
Rising costs on goods might be bad for consumers AND manufacturers, muses everyone.
"Good" Morning, The Bond Market
The yield curve looks great if you turn it upside down.
President Trump Totally Had Some Hot Summer Phone Chats This Summer, And No He Can't - Like - "Prove It"
They were with China...do YOU know anyone in China?
Trump Asks Jamie, BriMo And Corbat "WTF Is Happening To My Market, You Guys?"
So even the White House doesn't know who's running Wells Fargo.
If You're Trying To Pretend To Be Excited About China Trade Deal Rumors Again, Maybe Don't Look At The Yield Curve
Is it harder to keep swallowing the algo headline bullshit with an inverted yield curve?
Market Swoon Causes Crippling Algo-Mania In Old Dudes
It's almost like Jim Cramer is broken and spouting nonsense.
You Don't Deserve A Rate Cut
Jay Powell just cannot please you people, can he?
Like A Body On Life Support Fluttering Its Eylids, General Electric Releases Quarterly Results
This financial statement is a sign of life.
Tesla Results Miss On Every Key Component But One
Elon Musk's notional car company is losing money and executives, but his key Wall Street apostle remains unfazed.
Cord Cutters Are About To Face A Saturated Content Market
Errybody got a streaming service now.
Car Company Stock Soars On News That Car Company Made Cars
Tesla really is a hell of a thing.
New York Knicks Stock Looks Like New York Knicks Basketball
Can you spot on the ticker where everyone realized that the Knicks will suck forever?
Markets No Longer Capable Of Caring About What's Real Or What's Fake
Would your broker eat this banana?
Slack's Direct Listing So Successful That People Will Be Talking Trash About Conventional IPOs On Slack
Don't watch, Uber, or Lyft, or Snap, or et al.
Masa Son Finding Out That Absurdly Big Numbers Aren't Always Fun
After Uber IPO disappoints, SoftBank looking to make it all back on the can't miss WeWork IPO.
Company That Lost $3 Billion Last Year IPOs On Day One Of Trade War Between Two Largest Global Economies, Hilarity Ensues
The market is teaching Uber a very hard lesson about how dynamic pricing really works.
Stamps.com Stock In A Freefall As Investors Take Note That Company Is Empirically Obsolete
Hard to feel bullish on a company that just lost its only client...and also how no one really needs stamps anymore.
Dow Drops 600 Points, Uber Announces IPO Will Price At Top, And Our Work Here Is Done
No one wants to hold equities today but everyone wants to hold Uber on Thursday, claims Uber.
Uber Will Let Citadel Make The Market For Its IPO Because Uber Is Apparently Not Taking Many Chances
After Lyft's nightmare, Uber is at a Ken Griffin level of not f@cking around.
Wells Fargo Tries Playing Dead, Market Very Easily Convinced
The stagecoach stopped rolling online and everyone beat it like a dead horse (we lost this metaphor).