Markets Soar After Manufactured Crisis Is Narrowly Avoided By Having Already Been Solved Months Ago
The wisdom of the markets is something else these days.
markets
Markets Pump Higher After Big Miss On Jobs Number Because Wall Street Is Addicted To Cheap Money
Listen, investors aren't proud about they would do to cop a rate cut in June, but they're on their knees and everything is on the table
White House Now Offering Sweet 2-For-1 Deal On Intractable Trade Wars Just In Time For Summer
With China willing to burn it all down, is this not a perfect time to f*ck with Mexico?
![Who'd want to invest in something like this? By Yinxinybyq [CC BY-SA 4.0 ], from Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3Nzg3NzMzNTY3NDUy/uber.jpg)
Uber Loses $1 Billion In A Single Quarter, Market Yawns
The softest bigotry of almost no expectations.
![By EU2017EE Estonian Presidency (Theresa May) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTgwMjY0OTgyMDA1/theresamay2.jpg)
Tacitly Admitting That She Will Not Be Able To Overcome Her Own Decision-Making, Theresa May Resigns As Prime Minister
Brexit claims its second British leader.
Blue Apron Decides To Pull The Emergency Break In A Few Weeks As It Plummets Ever Faster Towards Death
If you've lost 94% of your public market value in less than one year, why not do a reverse stock-split right f'ing now?
Trump Has Made The Stock Market Insane, Says Literally Jim Cramer
Surely this is the Sell signal of all Sell signals...
Steve Mnuchin Is Not Your Man
Come on, Wall Street, how many times are you going to let this weasel get your hopes up?
Steve Mnuchin Says That Trade Talks With China Are Going So Well That It's Time To Take An Indefinite Break
Even after all those years in Hollywood, Steve Mnuchin still sucks at improv.
Company That Lost $3 Billion Last Year IPOs On Day One Of Trade War Between Two Largest Global Economies, Hilarity Ensues
The market is teaching Uber a very hard lesson about how dynamic pricing really works.
One Day After Underpromising, Uber Plans To Under-Deliver On Its IPO
"Surge pricing on our stock is a little lower than normal."
Larry Kudlow Told Jim Cramer About The China Trade Deal On Background, And Now We Know This From Watching CNBC
The Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton of American business news are at it again.
Market Wakes Up In Bed Next To Snap, Immediately Orders It An Uber And Reminds Itself That It Needs To Make Better Choices
What are you doing, The Market? SNAP is never going to be relationship material.
Uber Will Let Citadel Make The Market For Its IPO Because Uber Is Apparently Not Taking Many Chances
After Lyft's nightmare, Uber is at a Ken Griffin level of not f@cking around.
A Desperate Blue Apron Is Trying To Execute An "Etsy 180°"
Not only is Blue Apron replacing the CEO with an Etsy exec, it's even firing a guy named Dickerson.
Markets Somehow Unimpressed By Revelation That American President Probably Isn’t Russian Puppet
The new normal is weird as f*ck.
Jeremy Grantham Spends An Entire CNBC Segment Gleefully Pissing On CNBC's Corn Flakes
"Our next guest would like to artfully contradict the entire point of this network..."
Larry Kudlow Has Been Found Alive, Well And Back On his Bullshit
Our prayers have been answered, for Kuddles hath returned.
Where In The World Is Larry Kudlow?
The market is bleeding from the face and Kuddles is not on TV...are we all going to die?
Jeff Gundlach Mournfully Concludes That We Mortals Cannot Handle His Truth
J-Gundz didn't quit Twitter so much as he quit on "us."