Markets Somehow Unimpressed By Revelation That American President Probably Isn’t Russian Puppet
The new normal is weird as f*ck.
markets
Jeremy Grantham Spends An Entire CNBC Segment Gleefully Pissing On CNBC's Corn Flakes
"Our next guest would like to artfully contradict the entire point of this network..."
Larry Kudlow Has Been Found Alive, Well And Back On his Bullshit
Our prayers have been answered, for Kuddles hath returned.
Where In The World Is Larry Kudlow?
The market is bleeding from the face and Kuddles is not on TV...are we all going to die?
Jeff Gundlach Mournfully Concludes That We Mortals Cannot Handle His Truth
J-Gundz didn't quit Twitter so much as he quit on "us."
Trump’s Anti-Midas Touch Even Ruins Volatility
It was supposed to be good. But, instead, it’s bad.
Apple Revises Q1 Guidance Citing Chinese Trade And iPhone Sales As Things That Suck
Tim Cook looking to make his problem into everybody's problem.
![By Partybus Buenos AIres [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MjIxODcxOTUzODg0/partybus.jpg)
Jim Cramer Wants To Be Fed Chair
The Mad One is now openly applying to be Donald Trump's central banker.
Market Plunges In Shock After Jay Powell Does Exactly What He Said He Was Going To Do
Guess who isn't a cuck anymore...
FedEx CEO Muses That His Stock Would Be Stronger If The World Wasn't Being Run By Stupid Maniacs
Fred Smith is displeased, you guys.
Old Men Yell At Nerds To Get Off Their Lawn
Stan Druckenmiller and Steve Mncuhin wish quants would stop ruining everything with their algorithmic bullsh!t.
GE About To Become The Most Venerated Penny Stock In Market History
Maybe SixSigma wasn't sorcery after all.
Paul Tudor Jones Is Bullish AND Bearish Because It's 2018 And Markets Are Non-Binary, Man
The guy just loves animals, okay?
Larry Kudlow Being Totally Wrong All The Time Is The Only Safe Market Indicator We Have Left
Short Kuddles, get paid.
![By Fir0002 [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NTgyMTEyMTM4NzQx/bonfire.jpg)
How Are You Preparing For Today's Opening Bell?
Some ideas on how to brace yourself for the coming carnage.
Jim Cramer Is Very Mad At The Stock Market For Pretending That It's Not A Bear
We're worried about Jimmy C...again.
Fresh Off His Mega-Bullish Call On Cryptos, Tom Lee Is Calling the Bottom For Equities
Hey, he's gotta be right eventually.