Masa Son’s Unicorns Were Actually Lemmings
The last year really could have gone somewhat better for SoftBank.
Masayoshi Son
Large Investments In WeWork, Uber Apparently Bad For Business
Masa Son’s got bad news for the Saudis.
Wily Masa Son Made Damned Sure He Wouldn’t Have To Throw Away Another $3 Billion On WeWork
In his latest piece of financial performance art, Masa Son is getting sued by himself.
Masa Son To Sell Off Assets Amounting To SoftBank’s Entire Market Cap, Will Still Have A SoftBank Afterwards
This is some masterful put-up-or-shut-up stuff.
Masa Son Thinks $15 Billion May Actually Be Enough To Spend On $5 Billion Company
On second thought, SoftBank might not need the extra $3 billion in equity, thanks.
Federal Court Revives Long-Form Financial Performance Art Of Masa Son
He gets to sell Sprint and its $40 billion in debt and lives to do something else bizarre.
Masa Son's Masterwork Is A PowerPoint Presentation About WeWork That Will One Day Hang In The Louvre
One solitary slide in the WeWork autopsy report to SoftBank investors is a true encapsulation of the artist's soul.
Uber's Quarterly Results Likely Causing Masa Son To Experience A Confusing Tumescence
Public company valued at $53 narrows quarterly losses to just over $1 billion...and, yes, those words are "narrows" and "quarterly"
WeWork Is The Kind Of Investment That Would Have Appealed To 2016 Bill Ackman, Says 2019 Bill Ackman
In fact, Mr. Neri Oxman thinks the whole thing is worth roughly $0.
The Fall Of WeWork Has Destroyed The Last Pure Thing In Global Finance: Masayoshi Son's Profligate Whimsy
Seeing a hypothetical $40 billion go up in allegorical smoke is having an impact on the greatest living performance artist in finance.
Softbank Paying Adam Neumann $1.7 Billion To Just Please Stop Elevating The World's Consciousness
Masa Son remains clearly determined to make Neumann look like a transformative business genius.
Masayoshi Son Ready To Bring His Total Investment In WeWork To $15 Billion...At An $8 Billion Valuation, Because YOLO
SoftBank is ready to fix WeWork because co-dependent relationships are toxic.
Frankenstein Reportedly Nearing Deal To Rescue His Monster At A Sub-$8 Billion Valuation
SoftBank is ready to admit that it needs WeWork to survive.
WeWork Asking Jamie Dimon "Why Stop Now, Baby?"
What's left of We is hoping JPM will pony up $2 billion to keep the kombucha taps running, but that would almost certainly come with Dimon-strenght strings attached.
Adam Neumann Is Going To Need A New Workspace
Masa Son controls the WeWork board, and the guy who founded the company is about to see what that means.
WeWork Takes A More Holistic And Forward-Thinking View Of Its Consciousness Regarding The IPO Process
Translation: Masa Son pulled the plug on this thing last night because of course he did.
SoftBank And WeWork Have Some Kinky Thing Going And It's Weird To Watch
Get a room, you guys...WeKnow a place that charges by the month.
IPO Literally Built On Smiles Tanks On Listing, WeWork IPO Somehow Still Apparently Happening
SmileDirect is not finding much love today.
Never One To Fall Victim To Logic, WeWork Forging Ahead Towards An IPO
WeWork's drunkest friend begs WeWork to sober up, WeWork says "Nah, I'm good."
WeWork Asks Wall Street To Value It At More Than $20 Billion Or GTFO
This is escalating quickly.
Masa Son Is Down $600 Million On His Uber Investment, Because Art Is Pain
This is all part of the show, you philistines.
Masayoshi Son Turning To Some Different Patrons For His New Piece Of Financial Performance Art
With the Saudis taking a pass, the deKooning of money turns to Goldman Sachs for funding of his new work.
Masa Son Finding Out That Absurdly Big Numbers Aren't Always Fun
After Uber IPO disappoints, SoftBank looking to make it all back on the can't miss WeWork IPO.
SoftBank Might Take An Investment Fund Public For $100B, Because Money Is A Concept And Numbers Are Meaningless
Masayoshi Son, you glorious sumbitch.