Deutsche Bank Leaves Commerzbank At The Altar Because Apparently Beggars CAN Be Choosers
It s starting to seem like Deutsche Bank doesn't have a clear picture of itself.
mergers
Unaware That It Already Is One, Deutsche Bank Contemplates Formation Of "Bad Bank" Unit
If Deutsche Bank puts all its bad assets, liabilities and stalled business lines into one entity, what would be left of Deutsche Bank?
Troubled German Banks Confirm Rumors They Are Indeed Hooking Up
Deutsche Bank and Commerzbank are exploring a co-dependent marriage predicated on ruining thousands of lives.
Gary Cohn Isn't Not Telling People About That Time He Didn't Stop AT&T From Buying Time Warner
It really feels like The Big Grundle is giving out anonymous primo quotes to reporters about what he did in Trump's White House.
Jim Cramer Clearly Hates Investment Bankers
The Mad One has a bank merger idea that indicates he yearns to bathe in the blood of I-Bankers.
Deutsche Bank Turns In Disappointing Results For One Its Few Remaining Quarters
Christian Sewing now contemplating just running the whole show out of some WeWorks.
Angela Merkel Ready To Go The Full Geithner On Dying Deutsche Bank
Hey, Commerzbank, congratulations on your impending shotgun marriage to Frankfurt's hottest mess.
Deutsche Bank CFO Incredulous That People Actually Believe The Merger Rumors Swirling Around His Tire Fire Of A Bank
James von Moltke cannot believe that the press has the balls to say that anyone wants to merge with Deutsche Bank.
![By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIxNzQ1NzI1NDA0/jamiedimon3.jpg)
Opening Bell 7.13.18
JPMorgan earnings; Activist investors; Woodchucks eating cars and more!
Opening Bell 6.27.18
ConAgra merges; Kudlow's new crew; Yakuza stealing watermelon and more!
In Hopes Of Getting Time Warner Deal Done, AT&T Will Use Tax Cut To Give Trump A Full Release Ego Hand Job
You a thirsty motherfucker, Randall Stephenson.
Jana Partners Shows The World What It Feels Like To Get "Amazon'ed" The Good Way
These kinds of profits can buy you like two weeks of groceries at Whole Foods, ie a large fortune.
Horny Whole Foods CEO Finding It Hard To Stop At Heavy Petting While He Waits For Amazon To Put A Ring On It
All this mega-deal has to worry about is John Mackey's obvious priapism.
Marissa Mayer's Yahoo Watch Has Finally Ended...And It Was Terrible
Oh, Evita Breadsticks, we'll will miss you most of all...
Yahoo Stockholders Finally Vote To End The Misery Of Holding Yahoo Stock
Fare thee well, Purple Kingdom, the stench of your failure will keep you alive in our hearts.
If JPMorgan Screwed An Investment Bank Client To Buddy Up With BlackBerry, That's Punishment Enough
Also, a semi-regular reminder that BlackBerry still exists.
Yahoo Verizon Deal Is Either Done or "Done"
We're gonna hear something soon, but the SEC might be helping the buyer.
Marissa Mayer Coins Awesome New Word To Rename The Detritus Of Her Folly
Is Altaba an Esperanto word for "The Blonde Lady Hurt Me"?
Verizon Ready To Admit That It Agreed To Marry Yahoo Without Seeing A Credit Score
This engagement was never gonna work out, you guys.
AT&T Looking To Buy Time Warner, Troll Verizon Real Hard
The merger is mega, but the cruelty is deep.
Yahoo Hack Blows Back On Marissa Mayer In Most Marissa Mayer Way Imaginable
Oh, Marissa, you've outdone yourself.
Elon Musk Carefully Looking At Acquisition Of Elon Musk
We hope these crazy kids can make this work.
Depressed Twitter Got Super Drunk And Thought About Going Home With Yahoo: NY Post
What we talk about when we talk about desperate tech companies.