Federal Reserve Research Reveals That Millennials Are Just Douchier And Poorer Versions Of Their Own Parents
The kids are not even a little bit alright.
Deutsche Bank Wants To Hire Young People, But We Won't Fall For Its Tricks
We're stupid, but not this stupid
Hedge Fund Banks On Millennial Ignorance And Newfound Nicotine Addiction
Nicotine always finds a way
As Tariffs Ramp Up, Young Robinhood Investors Wheep
The rare, legitimate Millennial complaint.
The Real Reasons Why Millennials Are Investing Less
Listen here, Gramps.
BofA Burned By Millennials' Futile Search For Meaning
BriMo wants to be good, but it's just so damn hard.
Crypto-Obsessed Hipsters Plan Crypto-Based Utopian Community, Are As Awful As They Seem
Hey Goldman Sachs, come and get your Millennial assholes.
Robinhood Betting That If Millennials Will Day-Trade Without Knowing Anything About Markets, They Will Probably Buy An Ass-Ton Of Bitcoin At The Top
This could be huge for the Bitcoin-price-powered buttplug market.
Steve Mnuchin Is The First Millennial Secretary Of The Treasury
"For me?" Really, Stevie? Really?
Robinhood Is Just A Few More Snap IPOs From Eradicating Inequality
Millennials have nothing to lose but their trading commissions.
VICE Discovers Capitalism, Finds Itself Both Horrified And Aroused
Strangely, VICE is not into vice stocks.
John Mack Takes Some Time Out From His Retirement To Gently Sh!t On Millennials
The former Morgan Stanley CEO is kvetching about "Kids these days!"
Snap Underwriters Show Up At The Coverage Party Wearing The Same Dress
In a rare coincidence, most of the banks that got paid by Snap to sell its stock think highly of Snap stock.
Thanks To Robinhood, Millennials Can More Easily Hand Their Money To Wall Street
Millennials may be ruining a lot of things, but woefully uninformed day trading isn't one of them.
VD-Ridden Millennials Are Ruining The Crushing Burden Of Lifetime Debt
Or why many young people would rather talk about their STDs than their student loans.
Bloomberg: Dirty F@cking Millennial Women Won't Stop Swearing At The Office
Is there enough soap to wash out the mouths of an entire generation?
When Larry Fink Comes To The Office, He Wants To See An Ocean Of Denim
At BlackRock, "Formal" now means "Stonewash."
Jamie Dimon: Millennials Ultimately Powerless Against Chase's Charms
Resist if you like, but sooner or later, y'all will come around.
Businesses Are Sick Of Paying Millennials To D!ck Around On Snapchat All Day
Or send pictures of their d*cks via Snapchat, more specifically.