NYSE
Goldman Acknowledges Extremely Virulent Disease Spreading Across The Globe, Is Pretty Sure It’ll All Be Over In Two Weeks
Which is when you will be back at your desks, goddamnit, epidemiology notwithstanding.
Bill Ackman’s SPARC Not Exactly Lighting A Fire Under SEC
In fact, they think maybe he should just throw the whole idea on the fire.
SPACs May Be Illegal, So Make The Most Of Them While You Can
Time to cut a deal before a judge calls time on the whole party, although that’s probably not going to happen.
Robinhood Giving Shares To Its Poor Users, Sending The Rich (Those Companies) The Bill
As with everything else it does, regulators are getting ready to pull the plug.
SEC Making Sure Gary Gensler Will Feel Right At Home
You can authorize and investigation and you can authorize an investigation and you and you and you, too!
![Uh, where is everybody? where did they go? this is a long caption. really long. does it wrap? By Kevin Hutchinson (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE1MDM0MTgzNjQ0/nyse.jpg)
Chinese Companies Ask Big Board For A Bit More Indecision
Steve Mnuchin can’t hurt you any more, New York Stock Exchange.
Now Kelly Loeffler Can Trade Stocks With Abandon
Her days on Capitol Hill are numbered, but she’s gonna make the least of them!
![TomasEE [CC BY 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MzE5NTgxOTM1MDkz/nyse2.jpg)
Uh, What The Hell Is Going On With These Chinese Telecom NYSE Listings?
No one knows, least of all the NYSE itself.
Literally No One Likes SEC Hedge Fund Secrecy Plan, Except The People Who Run The SEC
That’s a big, “Thanks, but no thanks” from the hedge funds on getting rid of most 13Fs.
Bonus Watch: Analytical Whistleblowers
Turns out that fraud you think you see may be more valuable to you than to your clients.
Uber Board Debating Whether To Let Travis Kalanick Ring The Bell At IPO Ceremony In Latest Indication That Uber Is Not Ready To IPO
This is some real good Silicon Valley hubris.
NYSE Is Triggered And Saucy About Being Called "Nice-Y" Which Is What Everyone Should Call It Forever
You should never tweet, Nice-Y.
Tom Farley's Greatest Act At NYSE Was Pranking Snap Into Going Public
It turns out that Evan Spiegel really wasn't told how the public markets work.
Like Many Women Before Her "Fearless Girl" Is Sticking Around, But In A Different Part Of Wall Street...And In A Less-Defined Role
Everyone's favorite statue is getting a taste of what life is like for many outspoken women on Wall Street.
NYSE Tests Out IEX-Style Speed Bump It Once Said Would 'Create A Calamity'
Brad Katsuyama is out there somewhere enjoying a celebratory non-fat yogurt.
NYSE Would Like To Know What The Flash Boys Are Putting In Their Yogurt
What is up with the yogurt analogies?
John Thain, Finance Titan Who Introduced $35,000 Commodes To Wall Street, Will Retire In March
What's next? We have some theories.
All Things Considered, Total Shutdown Of Spiritual Home Of Capitalism Not That Big A Deal
This week's glitch? NBD.
So, That Was Some Day Huh?
Europe roiled, China continued a curious collapse and NYSE got glitchy wit' it.
Happy Humpday, Everything Is Broken!
Time to get the gold from under your mattress and head over to your weird uncle's cabin.
Meanwhile, Over At NYSE
But you Tom Farley, with the cone hats and the plastic kazoos? I want to party with you cowboy