obituaries
First Hedge Fund Dies Of Coronavirus
If you’ve been in contact with Solus Alternative Asset Management’s flagship, please lock your door right away and swallow the key.
Paul Volcker Dead At 92 Of Broken Heart
Also probably of being 92, but killing his beloved progeny can’t have helped, you monsters.
Hedge Fund: Quantitative Easing—Not Its Inability To Foresee Quantitative Easing—Responsible For Its Death
R.I.P., Arrowgrass Capital Partners.
Death Completes Hostile Takeover Of T. Boone Pickens
The legendary wildcatter and corporate raider is survived by his renewable energy ETF.
Keep Paul Volcker In Your Thoughts
No former Fed chairman should have to bury his rule so young.
Hoplite Capital Felled By Low-Volatility Army
It’s a hedge fund Greek tragedy.
The Best Head Of Hair In The History Of Securities Regulation Is Dead
Rock in peace, Bart Chilton.
Jack Bogle Will Have To Shake His Fist At Clouds From His Own Cloud Now
The Vanguard Group founder and expert shit-talker has died at 89.
Hedge Funds On Track To Be Run Entirely By Anonymous Nobodies By End Of 2019
Philippe Jabre will not be the last one you’ve heard of.
Hedge Fund Managers Don’t Want To Be Hedge Fund Managers Anymore
So, from sea to shining sea, they’re, uh, not gonna do it anymore.
In Memoriam: Hedge Funds We Lost This Week
Pioneers old and young, and some other, less notable funds, won’t see 2019.
The WSJ Pens A Touching Obit To Bill Ackman's Career
That sound you hear is Bill Ackman being buried alive.
Judge Dies In Peace After Owning Argentina
Having bent an entire country to his will, Thomas Griesa calls it a life.
Bob Wilmers Bikes Off To That Great Chateau In The Sky
M&T Bank chief, fist-shaking old man dies at 83.
Baby Boomers Officially The Worst Generation In American History
Millennials are composing a thank you (for breaking everything) note to mom and dad.
Don’t Even Think Of Uttering The Numbers ‘Two’ Or ‘20’ In Sacramento
CalPERS sister fund would like hedge funds to know that they suck.